Sunday, April 11, 2010
Over the years, as he got sick, Ron spent his final days extremely low key. The declining health really affected his spirit. It unmotivated him. He lost part of his faith. This after his faith was rocked by The People he so desperately tried to inspire and help never really grabbed a hold of his message. That was his biggest heartbreak.
Ron was a dynamic man. He loved people - and wanted to see a better place, here on earth.
I remember when I first met him. I was at my internship site on the first day. After unsuccessfully trying to convince the man who was supposed to show me the ropes of one particular recreation department that I was his responsibility for the day, Ron stepped in and took me under his wings. I never left...even after shallow-minded people told me Ron was a homosexual, and that "people think you are too now that you hangout with Ron."
From that moment, that day - Ron became my mentor. My confidant. My friend. My shoulder. My strength. My reason to be Ron's Soul Mate.
It was him who encouraged me to join the Peace Corps. It was him who encouraged me to complete seminary. It was him who convinced me that all events/things happen for a reason after I had given up on life. I recall that day of suicidal contemplation. It was two days after I had just won my second national championship. Why I was so depressed is no longer a mystery: I got tired of winning for everyone else - and still feeling empty.
The emptiness almost destroyed me. Here I was, a double champion - and I hated life. Life, is what Ron helped me ENTER with his constant sacrificial support, and joyous laughter. I began to smile...as a result of him.
Ron convinced me to be ME at all cost. No matter what people think, "Brian, just be you. No one else can. Love Brian E. Payne." Loving me became special priority!
I have often told people, "Ron saved my life. Therefore, he is my savior." That he was!! No Jesus saved me. It was Ron Wilkins and Brian E. Payne.
Without Ron's intervention on September 9, 1992 I would still be 'sitting and waiting' on someone to 'take charge' of me for a day. Without his intervention on January 18, 1991 I would be long gone from here...not living.
All Praises are Due to Ronald Bernard Wilkins.
"Love you Brian. You are all you have. Seize it while Seizing the Day. Carpe Diem!” -Ronald B. Wilkins
I am me as a result of him. I remain here as a result of him.
A gift from Ron at link below. He bought this album for me. Told me, "Brian, enjoy the music. Be at peace while listening. Peace is what we will have one day. Working on getting there."
Another gift from Ron at link below. He took me to the movies a few months before I departed for my journey with the Peace Corps. Said, "This move reveals love. Love will be right next to you while you are serving. You will find it in You first. Then give it away, Brian."
Brian E. Payne off to re-center...again. Solitude........