Thursday, May 28, 2009

Your Eulogy

If you were to die today/tomorrow, what would your friends, love ones, enemies, and associates say about you?

When I thought about this question last weekend, for some reason yet to be determined,
my heart was racing. I literally thought I was having a heart attack. I do know atrial fibrillations are common– but I am uncertain if this flutter had anything to do with my heart ready to bounce out of my chest. Perhaps, it was anxiety. Dr. Singh (my Indian doctor with a Mumbai accent) will give his diagnosis early next week. Thank the Lord I can understand EVERY word he says!

For now, let’s discuss/think about death and dying. An avoided subject that I do not fear at all. I have been saying for a few years now, “If I die tomorrow, I must admit that I have had a pretty decent run.” If I believed in heaven or hell and had to guess where I would go when I die I would say that my ‘good deeds’ have helped prepare me a spot on the Right Side of Our Lord. Pearly Gates here I come!

I wonder if we can have this chat without someone referring to dying as passing, expiring, gone on to glory. I ask because I am of the belief that most Americans are completely uncomfortable with death (Figure that: afraid to go meet their Maker?). Therefore, regulating us to talking about “croaking” in abstract terminology.

Okay, let’s get started:

Eulogize yourself!

Death and Dying

“Although intellectually we all know that one day we shall die, generally we are so reluctant to think of our death that this knowledge does not touch our hearts, and we live our life as if we were going to be in this world forever.”

Could this be the reason we have difficulties dealing with the Final Exit?

Written by Brian E. Payne.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Two Baby Daddy's

Who ready to "pass judgment"?

But, I am curious:
Where is this woman's shame?
Giving interviews and crap...Once shame is gone morality suffers!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Chemo, Religious Belief, Natural Remedy, or Death

"The Hausers are Catholic, but also believe in the natural healing philosophy of the Nemenhah Band, a Missouri-based religious group that believes in methods advocated by some American Indians. Colleen Hauser testified in court that she believed chemotherapy is a form of poison and that she had been trying to "starve" Daniel's cancer with supplements, an organic and sugar-free diet and high-alkaline water."

When should COMMON SENSE trump FAITH?

Shared Brian E. Payne.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

That Hat...

Remember when a hat was a hat? Remember when hats had a prestigious character if it looked worn? I can see the sweat ring and folded brim now. Those were the days when a hat added to the definition of one’s personality. Unlike today, hats have become flashy showpieces. The stickers indicating the size of the hat are not removed. The brim looks like a huge sun visor that belongs in a Yukon. They just look stupid! Those who wear these urban displays of vainness are the epitome of insecurity.

That last sentence alone is enough to turn people off. It basically regulates thousands of young people and adults who are still trying to be ‘Da Shyt’ (mostly black people, by the way) to what I have entitled, ‘Foolishness By Any Means Necessary’. Somewhat similar to this:

A message to black people:

However, foolishness has hit home. Literally.

My son, Judah, showed-up for his weekly visit with one of those dumb looking showpieces on his head. I could have died. Here is my son, wearing a hat with that glittery sticker and oversized A that’s suppose to indicate that he is an Atlanta Braves fan or city of Atlanta Admirer on it. I could have puked!

At that very moment, I wanted so desperately to snatch that ridiculous head garbage off his big dome and shake the new found coolness and urbanity out of him. Seriously, I wanted to destroy that damn hat and some way/some how block the inevitable boyhood machismo.

It definitely did not help my sanity that he insolently swaggered the entire visit with that God-awful hat on his head. He wore it while playing a game on his PSP that prompted him to say over and over again: “Oh, Snap!” That irritated me too. He even had the audacity to wear it while we spent time watching a sentimental episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition. Imagine that: A ten year old with one of those stupid hats on his head and his conservative father, who was crying because of the show content, sitting hugged-up watching television.

I was so elated when it was time for Judah Mordecai to go back to his mother’s home. I could not take anymore of his new found gaudy debonairness. It actually was repugnant, in my 38 year old mind.

Witnessing my son become a different person as a result of an overpriced and overly garnished hat that I cannot under any circumstances refer to as a baseball cap was completely unbearable.

A baseball cap with character is the settle looking one above. Not, the tasteless looking attention grabber with fake diamonds in the shape of an A. So stupid!

What makes this commentary more than a father’s rant? Well, it was apparent that the hat gave Judah some level of weird confidence. Any hat with the capability to do that is DANGEROUS. How about he boastfully prance around over the A’s he earns each grading period? Also, for some reason Judah’s innocent expression jetted. With the hat on, he was Mr. Frown. Pretty much like the ‘hard dudes’ we see on the street corners in the middle of the day preparing for the penitentiary,

No more pleasing smiles from the boy I help create? Right! That damn hat will come up missing the next time he comes over to Daddy’s place. And, if he is ever caught with his pants like this: please prepare to read about me, Father Beats Son’s Azz Over Pants.

Written by Brian E. Payne. Inspired by that STUPID AZZ HAT!

Monday, May 11, 2009

I am so attracted to MOTHERHOOD

Lisa Leslie on her career and being a mother. I just love her! So smart, dynamic at her craft, and sexy!

Hope EVERYONE had a great Mother's Day.

Shared by Brian E. Payne

Friday, May 08, 2009

Gay Times are High-Jacking Tradition

America is being literally high-jacked by liberal ideology. America is also the same far-right country that wants to ban abortion with its right-winged rhetoric. So, where are the middle voices when speaking of the assault traditionalism is enduring?

I am not homophobic. I am a black father concerned about the direction this country is headed. I am a black man who believes that marriage is a sacred bond that should benefit heterosexual couples.

The unfortunate move to change what is natural is another effort to further secularize America. Soon this Union will be unrecognizable: We have women raising boys to be punks. Cry babies. Whiners. Men by the numbers are standing in gay nightclub lines looking like thugs:

Little girls wanting to be like the Eurocentric Barbie and little boys aspiring to be Lil Wayne:

Homosexuality and any other deviances from normalcy are like oil trying to mix with water. It is not a good concoction. It will never become one liquid.

The mere fact that these states Gay Marriage Rights: Where Is Gay Marriage Legal? are moving in this direction only supports what was NOT in the divine plan. Without overly referencing Christianity or the tool used to encourage robotic behavior (the Bible), one has to admit that what is RIGHT in this case is not SUBJECTIVE:

Marriage in all its complexities and joyfulness should remain in holy matrimony (the intended purpose).

Maybe I am too conservative. Perhaps, I should loosen up?

No way! I am going to stand with what is RIGHT/NATURAL. We know what I am conveying is not SUBECTIVE. So, let’s stop being Politically Correct – and speak out against what we will soon have to explain to our kids if the onslaught of liberalization continues.

Written by Brian E. Payne.

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep/Our Father, who art in Heaven

Obama to be prayer day no-show - Washington Times

Well, I can understand why there is so much uproar over President Obama “nixing” the National Day of Prayer: President Bush showed his allegiance to the Christian-backed day of recognition for eight years.

This man (Obama) can’t get a break.

Not that I am in support of him getting a free pass. Nope! He needs to be intelligently scrutinized. He’s one of my employees! Nonetheless, if he would have participated in the breakfast and/or the service factions of our populace would have complained that his participation only supports faiths that ‘value’ prayer. In essence, stating that his allegiance is with Christianity. The last time I checked most religions and spiritual walks have some form of prayer/meditation/sending up good thoughts. Right? Perhaps, this is why some are offended.

If President Obama does not believe in prayer, as some columnist declared today, he is doing a great job of pretending. The pictures (above) can be used as proof that our president cherishes the practice. (Well, he could have been sleep in one photo).

He best BELIEVE in PRAYER...a lot of people are PRAYING for his black/white behind!

Lord, doesn’t he need it?

Shared by Brian E. Payne

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Recession Prompts Gender Role Reversal: Black Woman Slams Her Husband

I was hoping I heard the black lady incorrectly. I actually prayed while preparing my dinner that the sista was joking. No dice! Turns out this black lady said what she said. Of course, I waited a few minutes before I decided to blog about this. Then I calmed down. Then I got angry. Well, that's too strong of a word to describe my feelings. I was disappointed by her response. It, once again, validates what so many think of black women who have climbed the 'corporate ladder'.

What say you?

Shared by Brian E. Payne.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Mine that Bird and His Common Rider

For the first time in my complex life, I watched the Kentucky Derby. I decided to call one of my friends and tell him that I was watching; and in typical fashion he attempted to make me feel stupid by ridiculing me because I had never watched a group of horses that are forced to run around a dirt track, little men who are underpaid ride on the backs of million dollar horses, and a bunch of people, mostly Americans, stand around with enormous hats on (women) and men perpetrating in Seersucker suits. Of course, this dude’s efforts did not affect me one bit. But, his shallow insistence did encourage me to travel to Kentucky next year and ‘front’ like most of the people there. However, one thing will continue before I take off to the mid-west seeking a good party:

I will conduct more research on the two minute event e.g. its origins, previous black jockeys, and possible black owners of horses in the NTRA (National Thoroughbred Racing Association).
Mine That Bird shocks Derby at 50-1 - NTRA.

Speaking of black folk. I did see Michael Jordon there in a hideous suit and that big azz hoop earring. Michael Jordan Pictures - Celebrities At The Kentucky Derby - Zimbio. Why does he wear that ear piece? Ironically, his former trade’s championship game series is not the most watched sporting event in the United States. Not even the Super Bowl! The Kentucky Derby wins that honor. Guess what? That smart mouth dude who attempted to humiliate me did not know this.

At the end of the race I was hooked.

One thing that will not get lost in my partying when I go next May:

The Race - (A thrilling TWO minutes)

Mine that Bird was determined to win! At the end of the day, Mine That Bird went down in history as the “Spoiler”. I prefer to call him The Horse that Had the Jockey who Wanted to Win - How a common man rode to greatness:

“A Common Man”

I like that. An average man from the country side of Louisiana won…while surely pleasing the high-rollers in the overpriced VIP sections. I will be outside the gates next year in a rented RV.

Written by Brian E. Payne.

Friday, May 01, 2009

Barbie is a Tramp...Now

Barbie, the baby doll icon, got rid of Ken last year seeking women's liberation; and now she is getting some ink. Believe me, I am not against conservative body art - but I am not in support of Mattel marketing an adult decision to kids. And, we complain about how 'grown' kids are today. Where is the outrage? I am tired...

Brian E. Payne