Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Reinventing Ourselves: Don't Get Stuck with Your Old Self

When we were born we were what our parents expected: Precious Babies with a lot of promise. Even if we came into this world with a visible defect our mothers and fathers still wanted us to be more than a mediocre human being. The expectation for us unattractive - but cute to our parents - newborns was: to be the best we could/can be. This has always been someone’s wish. A wish that for so many turned into a nightmare or a beautiful story that will be told once we leave our physical selves, and become one with the spirit realm. So, as this year closes I have a question for you: Have you become the best you could/can become?

Usually around this time of the year we hear or read messages that prompt us to reevaluate our decisions and assess where we are in life. We spend countless minutes trying to tally up the good we have done, analyzing the pain we have caused, and we spend an enormous amount of mental energy regretting. I recall years ago saying to myself, “Brian, you shall not have any regrets in this life – so live!” At that very moment I decided to live a life worth singing and dancing about as I listened to someone besides myself sing that song that has the following words in it: “As I look back over my life…”. Now, that I have lived a pretty decent life (according to my evaluation) I still yearn for the day to come when I can say with confidence: I am the master of my world, controller of my destiny and ruler of my fate. Will I ever be in a position to say this? Will you? If we begin or continue to reinvent self, we will. But, if we stay in that same drastically unfulfilling, tediously monotonous, and unchallenging place we will travel the slow and boring road of mental/spiritual death instead of flourishing in every imaginable capacity.

I hear ya: ‘Another motivational speech from another person who has no clue what my life entails.’ This is how I sarcastically respond when a stranger starts to insinuate what I need to do to live a fulfilling life. Perhaps, it is my arrogance that somewhat shuts me down or maybe it is my passive approach of not facing the TRUTH? For me, honestly, it has been me evading the truth. Dodging the reality of my life. What is the personal truth that you have failed to address?

Are you doing what Frankie Beverly sings about: Running Away? If you are you are not alone. This is the reason we have New Year Resolutions. All year, we knowingly ignore what is RIGHT for us, and at the end of the year we somehow decide to face the music. This is our way of ‘starting over’ when in fact we never seriously began anew. No, we just go along with this end of the year commercialized process - some of us with good intentions – because everyone else is doing it, and believe it or not creating a resolution helps us feel better about our failures, short-comings and/or personal defects. Failures that occurred, and later helped me remember this: ‘God did not make no mistakes.” This often blurted-out statement from momma was enough for me to ‘get back up’.

On December 31st we will make another commitment to get it right – but how long are we going to spend ‘getting it right’? Shouldn’t there be a litmus test or a thorough analysis of where we are with the promises we made twelve months ago? Perhaps, we are taking the WRONG approach if the resolutions are a repeat of 2007’s.

Reinvention vs. Promises

What are we doing to reinvent Sherri, Patrick, Brian, and Sabrina? For the sake of a better you, me, and the world it is our responsibility to become a different and improved person each and every year that we live. A better parent, friend, sibling, business owner, employee, etc. If we take the same actions (promises) in 2008, we are truly a fabrication of what our parents expected. We are nothing more than a precious little baby in an adult body who fails to truly be the BEST he or she can be. We are nothing more than a ‘being’ that’s passing through life, and a human void who’s not having any impact on changing lives simply because you/me refuse to become a new and fresh individual (reinvention).

Don’t ya wanna get rid of that old self?

Examples of Reinventions:

Arthur Ashe – once a tennis player – died a committed civil rights activist
Queen Latifah – was a rapper – now an impressive vocalist
Sidney Poitier – once an actor – now a compassionate humanitarian
Iyanla Vanzant – was an abused spouse – now a dynamic speaker
Muhammad Ali – once a boxer – now an international peace icon
Maya Angelou – was a madam – now a phenomenal poet

…and all those men and women who are not notable celebrities. Those REGULAR FOLK! They are within our communities. Let’s become one or either search for them.

Take a look at the most popular New Year’s Resolutions. Should I be surprised that honoring the Golden Rule is not on the list?

How can a concept that’s woven into the moral fabric of all civilizations, most religions – but be obviously irrelevant to most of the world’s population not make the list? Are we really trying to LOVE one another?

The Ethic of Reciprocity is universal:

Written by Muata. Inspired by those souls who have been taking advantage of Self-Reinvention.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

10-month-old Pittsburgh baby dies after rape, assault

The Defenseless Continue to Suffer because of God’s In-action?

After reading the above article title (green font) in an online newspaper, and later summoning enough courage to read the article with the hope I would not become irate and/or puke-ish, I decided to engage a few people who are accustomed to me responding to both joyful and horrific newsworthy events. When I do this with detestable specifics I often times irritate those who are on the receiving end of my relentless frustration with the world – but in most cases I learn something from that welcoming friend and/or fellow blogger.

In this case, I must admit that my gloomy subconscious, and undependable and unstable conscious will not allow me to learn a thing from my readership. Old age revealed: Stubborn or either Jaded? You decide. Nevertheless (and typical), it was re-confirmed that most of us are more than likely religiously and theologically confused. Including me - after spending $50,000 on a divinity school education. We should just humbly confess together: we are utterly feeble-minded when it comes to making sense of human atrocities that leaves us asking the question, Why?


Please click on the link below before reading my pontification. (If you cannot access the web page please scroll down. The article is pasted below). After you read the elements of the tragedy please help me understand that lingering and unanswered question: Why?

Muata’s Search for Answers:

Where is God? Was the killing of Da'Niyah Marie Jackson in His plan?

The more and more that I become wiser with age I am beginning to believe that we, Believers and non-Believers, really need to re-consider saying and believing: "God Blessed me, God provides, God is good, God protects me, Without God there is no me" if we cannot provide justification for why BAD things happen to good and sinless people. Despite what that book of contradictions (The Holy Bible) tells us, Da-Niyan was sinless. White as snow. Unblemished! But, there are those who will tell us that she was created in sin, out of wedlock. Therefore, she is subject to the sinful acts that routinely occur in this world. This is one of the numerous views that ridiculously permeate within the Christian faith. Believable!

You can say, 'Brian, you appear to be so angry and/or distraught when it comes to religion and God' - but I contend that there is one question NONE of us can appropriately address or answer: WHERE IS GOD? Why does the evil criminal element flourish while the innocent suffer? There is no doubt that sanctified individuals will sincerely and self-righteously rationalize their beliefs and answers to these questions – but will they select to reason in a way that does not include a belief in this absent God we foolishly fear? No, MOST of these committed church-goers won’t do this because of the jitter that they have: Afraid to consider that there is not a God. However, when we take full stock and theological inventory of all the evil that occurs AROUND the WORLD, the following may not be a bad option: Not Believing. Some do say that Satan is winning and that he is the Ruler of the Kindom (John 18:36), so why believe in God, the apparent Loser?

But, for now I will continue to BELIEVE with the recreant thought that God will banish me to hell if I do not believe in Him. Who’s the wimp now? In normal circumstances (non-spiritual) my friends and associates would call me a PUNK AZZ BITCH for being scared. Why not now?

I am certain of one thing; I am tired of waking-up to another tragic episode! History and the disgusting present proves that there is some good in the world. I know that, but I am ‘lost’ when trying to think of what I would say to the parents of Da'Niyah Marie Jackson. I guess I would give the same ole 'justification' that I learned in pastoral counseling class: “God knows what's best. He has taken this baby to remove her from a sinful world. God is in charge. It was not in God's plan for the baby to live. Lean on the Lord for an answer, He will give it to you”. Would any of this Christian rhetorical babble help you with your lost/grief/pain/anger?

What say you?

Written by Muata. In honor of God’s forgotten: Da'Niyah Marie Jackson. She is one of millions neglected by Mr. Omnipresent.

November 24, 2007. PITTSBURGH (AP)

A 10-month-old baby died after being raped and beaten by her mother's boyfriend while the mother was at work, police said.

The infant died at Pittsburgh's Children Hospital on Saturday afternoon, two days after the alleged assault.

Clinton Smith, 30, of Pittsburgh, the mother's live-in boyfriend, remains in custody after being charged with rape and other offenses. Additional charges could follow an autopsy that was scheduled for Sunday, authorities said.

The mother told police she left the baby with Smith on Thursday morning when she went to her waitressing job. Smith was also caring for his 2-year-old son.

The mother found the baby unresponsive when she returned home at about 9:30 p.m. and called paramedics. The baby had severe bruises on her face, arms and legs, as well as a bite mark on her chest, police said. Doctors told police she had also been sexually assaulted.

A preliminary hearing for Smith was scheduled for Wednesday. He was awaiting trial on an unrelated June charge of simple assault, court records show.

In a separate September 2006 case, a woman who has two young children with Smith was granted a protection-from-abuse order against him after she said he attacked her and their daughter.

Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Sean Taylor, White Folk, and the Holy Saints

On Tuesday, the day of Sean Taylor’s death, I decided to listen to various chattering heads (mostly white men) jabber about Sean's past. And, for some reason they felt the need to spend a huge amount of time discussing the negative, and not the positive. While I am perfectly aware that telling the whole story is necessary to accurately project Sean’s reality/life, I still became uneasy by the unwarranted attention placed on the predicaments Taylor found himself in while living his short life.

Not one of these men mentioned what is MOST important in the case of Sean Taylor: THE PRESENT!!! So much focus was placed on his past in less than 12 hours from his death. It appeared to me that they were talking about a former cold blooded gangster. A Frank Lucas type, and not a man who recently decided to CHANGE. Something that so many of us have yet to do when in fact we NEED to.

At the time, all we knew was Sean was shot by a home invader. But yet, so many people were quick to associate the killing of Sean to his so called troubled past. Ridiculous and Judgmental! So what if the story is different! It still should not matter because Sean did what they do not want us to do: CHANGE FOR THE BETTER!

Sean's "misbehavior" was a reflection of what we all experience: IMMATURITY! He was ONLY 24, which means he was "in trouble" when he was 19, 20, and 21! I can think of several questionable and illegally activity that I was associated with as a wet behind the ears young adult. I wonder how I will be remembered?? Like Sean, I was a product of America’s adolescent community. We all know what that entails.

To top it off on this day of mourning for thousands of people, we had the holy saints tossing his death up as, "it was in God's plan". I am sorry, but this type of thinking is FOOLISH! It just is! So, I guess God allowed Sean to get shot down like an animal just so Sean could go home to heaven? Think about that crazy and asinine thought process. Unfortunately, this type of thinking is pervasive throughout Christian intellect. Actually, referring to it as intellect is incorrect. In my mind it is Christian self-induced ignorance.

Christian Education for the all too common Clueless Christian:

The biblical Paul had a HORRIBLE past full of transgressions. Moses did too!

Not too many of these biblically un-sound/un-educated Christians ever talk about the negative past of these so called prophets. And, why? Of course lack of knowledge is one of the reasons – but could it be because what Moses and Paul did in the present is all that mattered?

Sean's death for some reason has drastically affected me. I am so disturbed by this - and every killing of our black men. I am also tired of these men (mostly white) attempting to demonize us (black men) while we are alive and when we are dead - and I am definitely sick and tired of the holy rollers adding senseless acts of murder to God’s plan.

What say you?

Here is what Jason Whitlock and Michael Wilbon had to say:

Where is the grace for Sean Taylor?

After the funeral:

Written by Muata. Inspired by the following statement from Sean Taylor’s father:

“It is with deep regret that a young man had to come to his end so soon. Many of Sean’s fans loved him because of the way he played football. Many of his opponents feared him because of the way he approached the game. Others misunderstood him, many appreciated him and his family loved him. I can only hope and pray that Sean's life was not in vain, that it might touch others in a special way."

Friday, November 16, 2007

God, Rain, and Sonny

In 1971 I was diagnosed with the severely crippling and then death sentence, Meningitis. My grandmother, mother, and aunt were told to prepare for my death. I was given six months to live with this debilitating neurological damaging condition. Prior to the confident team of medical specialist condemning me and giving God’s blessings (the three women referenced) the verdict, my condition was a medical mystery. The family physician had no clue what was causing the high fevers and dangerous body tremors. He was dumbfounded by the little black infant who tried to swallow his tongue two to three times a week. I was his lost cause and a representation of his professional failure. He could not save me because of his limited knowledge of inflammation of the protective membranes covering the central nervous system. Therefore, my family had no other choice - but to rely heavily and solely on God answering their prayers.

The story of my medical tap dance with God’s only guarantee has become a story that my mother tells each and every Thanksgiving. She usually ends it with, “You were saved for something, so don’t make a fool out of God.” On the other hand, the specialists are probably still wondering: What in the hell?? Mary, Frankie, and Willie Jean are definitely not pondering this question. To do so means that they are questioning the spiritual power that they invested several nights of prayer in. Prayer, not a rain dance. Ya see, I did not die like the MD’s playing God thought I was going to. According to these three women, my life was spared because they petition God. They prayed, and their prayers were answered.

It remains to be seen if Georgia’s governor, Sonny Perdue and other religious Believers’ prayers for SIGNIFICANT rain will be answered just like the prayers that were offered up by those three women on Small Street back in Thomasville, North Carolina almost 36 years ago. Will it rain in abundance? Will the prayers that were unconstitutionally expressed on government property be received and answered by God Almighty? Or, will the state of Georgia and its residents end up importing water from other ‘rain blessed’ territories? From the fervidness of the numerous prayers I heard I am willing to wager that God will graciously send a shower or two. Or, will it be a climate change to produce the rain? Either way, the Believers will zealously credit the wet droppings of Mother Nature to Jesus. What a minute, I need to be clear here. The accolades should go to God, and not His son. Right? I interject this question to make a small point: No one KNOWS if there is a God up above the clouds answering prayers. We are in the dark on this one–but no one really wants to be forceful with their controversial beliefs in fear that they will be labeled an atheist. However, more of us should push the limits of reason, logic, and faith.

An earnest faith does dictate action to some degree. Thus the reason the young and old were meters away from Turner Field pleading with God. Faith does encourage the thoughts of believing: ALL can be conquered with God’s assistance. All you have to do is confess with thy mouth, and believe. This is what the scripture states. The scripture also reads, I, the LORD, am the one who sends storm clouds and showers of rain to make fields produce. So when the crops need rain, you should pray to me (Zachariah 10: 1). So it is true. God does demand that we pray for rain. The bible tells us so, so we believe. That bible is so informative, and insightful. Really?

To be insightful means an individual is a clear thinking and deeply perceptive person. He is an intelligent man who often times contemplate with a savvy understanding of reality. But, it is evident reality is relative for us humans. We see the world in differing and abstruse complexities. Different viewpoints that in most cases lead us to believing in convoluted concepts that cannot be substantiated. Therefore, we often times toss up our ignorance to ‘believing via faith’. This is what Sonny has decided to do. He believes it will rain enough now to save us. The rain for him is about to come. Return to earth like the Saving Son of Man plans to. Jesus and rain. How soon will they relieve us from the drought and from the world we have created?

The funny thing about a drought is it typically does not last forever. Rain does eventually come–but this time the rain will be welcomed unlike when I was a child: I hated rain. Also, when it comes, will it be the result of our conditional effort to communicate with God? I want to believe that the down pour (a needed 5 days worth) that will be in the forecast soon is NOT a consequence of a symbol of white and conservative authority disrespecting our once cherished constitution.

Do we really believe we have the power to move God to action? What does it mean if we have to pray for the one thing that produces and sustains life? Isn’t God aware Georgia needs a drenching of H20? If this God we pray to is omnipresence, why should we continue to ask Him for the critical things? If we sincerely believe that our ‘all about us’ prayers lights a fire under God’s behind we are in effect conveying to each other: We Are In Control, Not God. Also, is our New Testament God so sadistic that He will not respond to evils and natural disasters simply because we are not praying?

I conclude with this analysis and questions that have continuously been unanswered by priest and laypersons alike because of the one thing related to praying I am sure of: God only gets glorification for the answering of prayers we believe we selfishly need answering. The other prayer requests that go unaddressed by God are labeled: It was/is not in God’s plan. There we go again attempting to understand the un-understandable. How do we know that there is a plan in the first place? Our religious arrogance always seems to get in the way of the God-given logic we possess. This is not only pitiful, it is dangerous! So dangerous - we have for years made every attempt to alter and deify nature, but now we are asking God to bail us out once again. God ain’t stupid!

Written by Muata. Inspired by this: “Sonny prayed, and now it is going to rain.” Illogical??

One of several Exposing Christianity reviews:

“This book takes a practical down to earth approach from a black man's perspective of Christianity and how it has affected the history of an entire people. Critical issues regarding relationships, economy, and health can be identified within this read.”

To purchase the book: or

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Goin’ up Yonder to be with my Lord

Please listen to this pretty decent rendition of Goin’ Up Yonder before reading my sermonette that I plan to deliver one day with the hopes the congregation will get HAPPY. If you can find the original version please listen to it too. I wrote this preaching piece in 13 minutes while drinking Elijah Craig on the rocks with a splash of Coke Zero. Chill, God gave me the gift of writing- and if He has no problem with me getting liquored-up you need to be quiet! God is Good! And, by the way, your Jesus was a Wine-o (Luke 22:17). Laugh with me!

If you have never heard this soul-stirring gospel song while growing up at a funeral or even at a lengthy Sunday afternoon church service you definitely missed out on hearing a woman (I prefer a woman) sing a song like she really believed what she was lyrically sharing with the world.

The man who originally recorded this gospel track gives you the impression he believed he was, Goin’ up Yonder to be with his Lord when his judgment day arrived. Evidently, Bishop Walter Hawkins sang this all too popular song as if he understood that the words would seep of pain and struggle while believing God has given him grace and all that he needs to pass through this world. Yes, he was headed to God’s land: Heaven. He wanted to be with his Lord while confidently understanding that he was destined to be in a better place real soon. Yes, to be with his Lord! His faith in this contagious belief was moving; and it appeared he did not lack motivation to do right so he could see his God one day. Be with his Lord! And, when he was gone he wanted the people who would ask, ‘where is he’, to know that he walked through those Pearly Gates. Finally, at home. At peace. Up Yonder!

If you have not comprehended by now that I cherish this song despite my theological views: Heaven, There is no such Place you need to start reading again! I proudly wear this view/belief across my chest on t-shirts like I truly believe that God has not prepared a place for us to be with Him. Oh, how I wish sometimes that there is a physical place where God is in full control. Oh, how that would answer all my questions. Oh, how this belief alone would give me the comfort I need while watching the depressing news. News that reeks of disappointment and disturbance. It is this type of news that I wish my soul could shield considering part of my PEACE and HAPPINESS is attached to the world changing. I am, along with John Mayer, Waiting on the World to Change.

A wounded Saint talking to the Lord:

Lord, how I want you to be sitting on a throne waiting on me because like so many other people: I am tired. Tired of hoping you will intervene. Hoping you will not allow another travesty of justice to occur. How I want you, God, to show yourself so I can know for certain that you are true. I can’t wait for my death. No, death may take too long. I need to know now because I am preparing myself to be with you, My Lord. Praying that I will see my Savior Up Yonder. I just want to be with my Lord! You God, no one else, understands my heartache. The comfort of knowing that you will ease my pain is pleasing. Actually, it is satisfying - but I am, on so many difficult days, ready to be with You. With my Lord! Amen.

Can you imagine our slave ancestors or our hopeless bothers/sisters in Haiti not believing that there was/is a place Up Yonder? I can’t. They have/had to believe that there was/is a place Up Yonder. How else could/can they get by? How could/can they be at peace? They believed/believe to make it through. Up Yonder with God was/is a place of refuge because this world did/does not offer what was/is needed to be emotionally safe, spiritually healthy, and eternally happy for too many of us. Therefore, Goin’ Up Yonder was/is, not only a belief, it was/is a way of life: “Preparing myself to be with You, My Lord.”

Even if we don’t believe that there is a place Up Yonder as a result of our 21st century thinking or our understandable frustrations and spiritual conflicts, we should still be able to identify with psychological pain and wanting terribly to be removed and saved from desperation. For many of us this pain is unbearable so we are looking for a way out through our flowerily imaginations and wavering beliefs. Believing that there is a place we call heaven is okay with me. At times we need to know that there is a reprieve on the way, or Up Yonder.

Believe on, Believer!

So, Brian E. Payne finds nothing wrong with this woman singing her heart out on YouTube. Singing to convey a belief. That belief for her and numerous others: There is a better place called heaven. It is Up Yonder! And, those who make it Up Yonder will be with their Lord one day.

Lord I sound like a preacher. That’s okay. Grandma’s prediction was that I would be in a pulpit one day. Will you join my unsanctified church? Come on down to the alter…before it is too late!

Can you see me rocking back and forth? God was in my whiskey on this one!

Written by Reverend Dr. Brian E. Payne. LOL! Inspired by this: “If anybody ask you where I am going. You tell them that I am going Up Yonder.” You also tell them that the Believers will travel their way to heaven on the Rough Side of the Mountain (click on link below-scroll down to song tracks-click on the Windows Media icon for the song Rough Side of the Mountain). Another gospel classic!

Thanks to all of you who have pleaded with me to start back writing, not only sermons, but more “Christianity favorable” commentaries. Just don’t get too comfortable. I ain’t no preacher…yet, and I STILL find it too intellectually difficult to be a Believer…again. Just can’t see myself standing in “God’s pulpit” advising others on how to live according to scripture knowing that the scripture is erroneous – and when it takes whiskey to move me!

The challenging and controversial book, Exposing Christianity, My Way of Sharing an Alternative to the Church’s Truth is available on line:

Friday, November 02, 2007


Typically, when socially conscious people decide to participate in an effort to get the attention of the establishment, a justifiable reason has caused the ‘common’ folk to be frustratingly alarmed, oppressively upset, and/or emotionally heated. Usually, the heat from the insult committed upon these regular folk has reached an unbearable point. Almost like an extremely hot cup of coffee that puts a burn on one’s tongue. This type of burn temporarily affects taste buds. One is regulated to eating without tasting the sweetness of a Krispy Kreme donut while having to deal with an irritating tongue blister.

The circular shape of a donut is the symbol of African Americans’ attempts to tap the white man on his shoulder. We are constantly going in circles while never really causing him to respond in a way that indicates he is concerned or worried about our situation. As a result of us failing to successfully rattle the conscious of this man, blacks are forever proving to the world that we are defeated by the white man’s unconcerned posture. Giving us the reputation of being a nuisance just like that blister.

When will we learn that he does not care? He does not care that someone within our community has decided for us that we should not go see American Gangster, purchase lemon pepper wings, buy a bottle of expensive vodka, purchase a lottery ticket, buy a pack of Black and Milds, purchase the hottest hip-hop artist compact disc, or even buy another pair of shoes that we plan to wear with our Saturday night outfit. Come on! It is the first of the month! You know this is what we do! Well, those of us who are still connected to the hood know what’s up!

The infamous Blackout. Are you going without today? Did you put $10 in the gas tank on Thursday? What have you not done to confirm you will adhere to Warren Balentine’s mandate? Let me tell you what I have not done: I have not bought into an idea that does not have an official definition or an effectively communicated objective. I use the word objective because for quicker results one should understand that objectives are like milestones. It is a time for the planner or facilitator to evaluate his/her strategy. Whereas, with goals one should understand that goals are long term strategic steps. Now, ask yourself, what type of outcome/goal will come of this event that we are calling a Blackout? The rehearsed answer: ‘It will send a message to America that we are tired of the injustices.’ Well, being tired does not mean someone or something is going to change. With this simple understanding of the difference between an objective and a goal I humbly and non-narcissistically challenge you (those of you who have not cursed me and stopped reading) to ponder on this: “Nothing has really changed in America. If it has, why are we still marching, and singing the chorus of We Shall Overcome Some Day?” A 16 year old asked me this question on November 1, 2007.

Will that white man I mentioned above decide to treat us better? Will he finally hear us at 12 midnight? If we are not aware that the white man is already in the know of our complaints, we are drastically mistaken. Mr. White man is very knowledgeable of why we are dissatisfied – but he has proven to us that he does not give a damn! So, when we go without today he is just going to say to himself: ‘We have them where we want them. They are on the defensive. They are never in a proactive state of mind. We have defeated them.’

Sadly, I agree with whitey. He knows that Mookie will cop him some heroin from DJ on the corner of MLK Boulevard and Broad Street tonight. He knows that some weak black man posing as a pimp will trick-out his niece later tonight. He knows and believes we are responding to what he is ‘supposedly’ doing to us, and not responding to what we are doing to ourselves. With this state of affairs there is always a winner. An individual on top. And, we know it is not the drug dealer or the prostitute winning this battle. Those pale skin men and women are the defending champions.

The question remains to be, when will we learn? Some are saying we have learned since we are Blacking Out on November 2, 2007 with a united front. Interesting analysis considering that we have not become re-focused. We have not stopped and critiqued our situation in America collectively. No, we have not. What we have done is moved away from the unity we once had. We have been moving and moving so much so that we can’t even recognize ourselves anymore as a true united front to be reckoned with. We are what Mr. White man intended for us to be: Strangers in a foreign land.

Think about it, strangers are those people we avoid. We don’t talk to them. We don’t even acknowledge them. But, when it is time to come together we will. I recognize this. However, it is too bad that we are quicker to follow than lead. Leading and being in the forefront is when we are working to build our own communities. Spend in our communities. And, ultimately love our communities to the point we will be seen as a model for self sufficient economic development. It is amazing to me to me that we have lost the spirit of togetherness like we once had on Auburn Avenue. But yet, we are prepared today to Blackout the Auburn Avenues of America, and all because Mr. White man has done us wrong again. Shouldn’t we consider that he would have no method of crapping on us if we for once and for all: COMPLETELY SEPARATE FROM HIM in mind, spirit, and with our dollars? Notice that I did not say physically. The separation I am speaking of can be done. Just ask Farrakhan about the success he and the Nation of Islam have had after they decided to detach themselves from America’s racist grip.

I am cognizant of the fact that some will tag me as a hater. A downer of the cause. A sellout. That’s fine with me. I did offer up a workable solution. Solutions should be lasting, not temporary. Sacrificing on Just Got Paid day and then going to Macy’s tomorrow to pay the minimum balance on your Rewards Card is not indicative of a lasting and intelligent solution.

Written by Muata. Inspired by the cup of coffee I will buy from a black owned bistro and lounge this morning. Inspired by the fried fish I will buy from a black owned restaurant this evening. Inspired by my refusal to buy a bootleg copy of Denzel’s movie.

Please check out the book reviews of Exposing Christianity, My Way of Sharing an Alternative to the Church’s Truth at and Don't miss out on being challenged:

Jesus Was a Failure
Heaven: There is No Such Place
The Bible: God Wrote It-I Believe It-That's It?
Asking for Forgiveness: Is it the Perfect Way to get to Heaven?
God: A Figment of Your Imagination?

Saturday, October 27, 2007

California Burnin’: It is Sad that I Don’t Care

The news this week has been filled with fire. Literally, fire! The wild fires in California have consumed conversations and the images of the fires have been forever imbedded in the minds of those who picked-up a newspaper this week. It was definitely a front page story not to be missed! Nonetheless, I was not overwhelmingly fazed by the tragic stories of people losing their homes. I could not identify with their pain. Believe me; I tried while watching a lady fall to her knees in complete heartache when her address was read over an intercom system. The reading of her address was the Red Cross’s way of informing her and others that their homes were demolished by this act of nature.

An act of nature – but considered an act of God by holy-rollers: “These are the end of times”. How I have heard this since I was a toddler! From Reverend James Cleveland to Minister Louis Farrakhan. This message of doom has been irresponsibly blurted out with a vengeance for far too long. I guess the “end days” are among us…STILL? I wonder when Jesus is really coming back.

As I thought about these so-called end of times, I became increasingly puzzled by my dismissive and nonchalant attitude. Shouldn’t I be torn-up by lives being ripped apart? I certainly understand that people are losing material items, but homes are sanctuaries. They are shrines. Homes in some cases are all people have to link themselves to family history. Cherished generational items truly make-up a home. These are homes, not the sitcom set for Fred Sanford’s junk yard. For me, every item in my place is of monumental value. The books, pictures, and heirlooms are only a few mementos that make me who I am.

If you are reading you know that I am a black man. Some say too black. When I mentioned this word (black) as I audio recorded this commentary I began to reflect on this demised color. After thinking for awhile a revelation was received. I began to piece together why I am not empathizing with the Californians who lost everything. I thought I would be too shameful to admit this: The reason I am not distraught over million dollar homes going up in a blaze is because the people I noticed on CNN did not look like me. They were/are white. Unlike the black American citizens - not refugees – of the Gulf Coast. The people from the swamp’s East and West Bank have lips like mine. Their noses are like mine. They were/are victims of a devastating storm that shocked the world. I can relate to them through years of black pain and struggle.

Over 900,000 people were evacuated. Over 480,000 acres burned or on fire (that’s 645 square miles). 19 reported fires. 7,000 firemen and women battling the blazes. 8 dead. Countless people are expected to be injured. One billion dollars worth of damage. Over 1,600 homes destroyed by one of God’s biblical weapons of wrath (punishment) – and I am not feeling remorseful at all. Not one ounce of sympathetic feelings for these people who are strangers just like every black person I watched thread through Lake Pontchartrain flood waters back in September of 2005. Did skin color alone connect me to Mrs. Etouffee? If this is the case, I find it interesting considering I and several other black people are occasionally quick to interject classism within the black race: poor ghetto blacks vs. financially stable blacks. Meaning: Well-to-do blacks can careless about destitute blacks. But, during the saga of Katrina I and those other polished black folk were suddenly ‘feeling’ for New Orleans’ poor blacks. Hypocrisy again?

Should I be concerned by my lack of loving pity for California’s newly traumatized? Could I be so mean-spirited and possibly racist that I can’t show any level of human kinship? Lord, I am wanting to know what you have created, or a better question, what have I become? I do want to care, even as I understand that COUNTLESS white folk were unmoved by the images of Katrina, the beating of Rodney King, the injustice of Jena 6, the killing of Medgar Evers, the rape and torture of Megan Williams, the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr., the slaying of four little girls as they participated in Sunday school activities, and the senseless hanging of black men, women, and children, but my conscious and emotions will not allow me too mourn with my fellow Americans. Why?

My answer:

I am a product of racism. America’s racism has shaped my opinions, beliefs, and day to day thoughts. I am what you, America, have produced: A man who was waiting on you to react the way you are now responding when a huge hurricane by the name of Katrina hit land in black New Orleans. The 9th Ward. And, as a result of your neglectful inaction I am harden. So hard, my television is not getting its usual play of news because I just don’t care about expensive homes owned by mostly white people going up in flames. I don’t care about 12,000 men, women, and children having to flock into a stadium. I just don’t care as a result of what you have proven and done to me and my people. America, you have confirmed that you will abandon black folk whenever and wherever. So, please know that when you don’t see black people crying or attempting to assist, try to understand that our lack of a caring response is of your making.

Ya reap what ya sow in this world. You, America, have reaped a class of people who do not identify with your tragedies. And yet, you continue to sow. This is your fault, not ours!

Consequently, it is my responsibility to change my heart in spite of Babylon’s flagrant disregard. It is me who has to forgive. It is me that needs to be compassionate. If I do these things my soul and thinking will be in line with what God ultimately wants: Love for thy Neighbor. Since I am not in accordance with what God desires from all of us I am wrong. Dead wrong!

I am confident that I am not the only black person feeling this way. I am confident some white people will not understand.

Written by Muata. Inspired by my mother: “Brian, these people will bounce back before you know it because the government will rescue them, and then the government will claim that the reason they were so responsive is a reflection of lessons learned from the Katrina aftermath. Whatever!”

My challenging and controversial book, Exposing Christianity, My Way of Sharing an Alternative to the Church’s Truth can be purchased at

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Tyler Perry's, Why Did I Get Married? is an Accurate Depiction of Marriage

Our day to day behavior is typically determined by a response to others’ reactions which are their actions to reactions. Basically, we all behave the way we do because of what has been done or said to us. In essence this is nothing but learned behavior that we display as a result of living. This is what I call, The Chain Reaction of Life. People are programmed to act and/or respond. No one is immune to this on the face of the earth. No one. Some behavior is inappropriate and some of what we do and say is on board. Righteous and morally correct. Marriage is one of those acts that the church tells us will lead Believers down the road of moral righteousness: No more fornication. Sex between man and woman is within the guidelines of the church now that you have proceeded with one of the Lord’s natural progressions of life. Really?

Repeating marriage vows is a method used to, not only ‘legitimize’ a union, the vows are in most cases repeated with religious jubilance because they represent ‘God’s sanction’ of marriage. The proof is in the vows: “God joins you together in one of the holiest bonds.” Even the latter understanding (God’s approval) of marriage causes me to think more seriously about the scripted commitment that’s repeated by all walks of life each and every month. However, what definitely got me ta thinkin’ bout this important decision a little more intensely was Tyler Perry’s, Why Did I get Married? box office hit. Going to see this movie on opening night was my way of sharing a family moment with black folk (statistics indicate that 90% of ticket sales were to black people). The family was well behaved two weekends in a row. So, forget you, Mr. Bill O’Reilly!

Marriage is encouraged by our government; and Christianity faithfully endorses this Senate and House push for man and woman to become “one in holy matrimony”. Isn’t that something, people are asked to become one in unit and in idea when speaking of signing your individualism away. We actually pay states to be ‘reclassified’ as Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson. The infamous marriage certificate/license that’s paid for along with other soon-to-be worthless items e.g. wedding gowns is valued at a cheap $30 – but most couples treat this future laminated declaration like it is worth thousands of dollars. Just ask a “happy married couple” to show you their marriage license. They will sit you down and pull out an overpriced cream colored photo album or they will fast forward amateur marriage ceremony and reception video to the frame that displays… You guessed it: The Marriage License. Whoa, this piece of paper has become a priceless antique while the marriage is in the toilet. Yep, in the toilet! But, of course not too much can be flushed down that collector of human waste. Therefore, one disgruntled party is more than likely to escape the underground cesspool container. Survival of the Fittest, Baby!! ‘I ain’t goin’ to go down with this fool!’ So much for this part of the vows: “This occasion marks the celebration of love and commitment with which this man and this woman begin their life together.” What happen to the love? What happen to the commitment?

Amazing. When the times get difficult we revert back to what we were prior to becoming this never true non-existent “ONE”. A self-serving individual! Actually, I find it somewhat crazy for us to think that two people with two different personalities will become conjoined individuals. God did create us separately with different characteristics. Right? Nevertheless, these defining differences are the exact elements that contribute to a successful or disastrous marriage. It is evident men and women are polar opposites. That Venus and Mars discourse will inform you of this. One has a desultory ding-a-ling and the other has a cherished sugar bowl! One has emotions that drastically infect and alter her personality monthly and the other has a rough exterior that he claims is bullet proof: ‘I am tough. Nothing gets to me!’ Yeah, right?

In truth, what we truly have are two people who decided to commit to each other – and this should not require a waste of money (the wedding) or God supposedly sanctioning anything. Do we really believe God is approving what He already knows is not going to work? Commitment can mean several different things, but what I believe it should not mean: we are ONE in mind, body, and spirit. But, the vows state something else: “Marriage is the union of husband and wife in heart, body and mind.” Nope, it does not work this way anymore – and when a marriage functions on this once functional premise it is destined for failure. Individuality is what makes Thomas and Denise. Why should spouses put what makes them who they are up for ceremonial sale or on the back burner when he/she decides to spend the rest of their lives with each other?

Spend the rest of their lives with each other.

Now, that sounds condemning. Whew! The same boring and/or stimulating sex forever? Women, you have to admit that sounds overwhelmingly restrictive. The boring sex. But, of course, you have probably adapted your thoughts and opinions to Western thinking that usually ends up being a lie and a concept that is unrealistic for most. And, how do I know it is a fantasy? Well, do some research on cheating and divorce. Just watch Cheaters or talk to your co-worker. He or she probably proves my point: Nothing last forever. But, the vows recommend something different: “…keep yourself only unto her as long as you both shall live...” Stepping out will happen in one way or another i.e. emotionally or physically. If it does not, you best believe this ‘fortunate’ couple is ‘blessed’. Usually this so called blessing is reserved for couples who have learned the art of sneaky upfront and strategic communication with an absence of reality. Complete communication, but with select topics of discussion. No holds barred communication with diverting avenues that hide the truth. What couple do you know that’s accomplished a real level of open dialogue? One where the husband can say to wifey, ‘That weave is hideous.’ One where the wife can say to hubbie, ‘Your stomach is growing day by day.’ - without either one developing resentment?

Why did I get Married? explores the communication component thoroughly. I was reminded of how difficult it is to communicate with the one you say you love. I was reminded of how tough it is for so many of us to express ourselves without fear of ridicule and rejection. I was reminded of what it takes to be correctly understood and purposely insightful. Most importantly, this fantastic movie helped me to focus on the one thing that is important within those unrealistic vows: “Before they knew love, they were friends, and it was from this seed of friendship that is their destiny.” and “You have pronounced yourselves husband and wife but remember to always be each other’s best friend.” Friendship is what we have before we get married. It is the one thing that keeps us excited about each other. ‘My friend this and My friend that.’ This is the stomach tingling chatter that rolls off our lips in good friendship. We are so in love with our friend. Then something happens: We get married. And, we all know that the friendship is left behind – but why? I have yet to receive an understandable answer from these “happily married” couples as to why the bond of friendship is broken after those vows are recited. Why?

I think I have a psychologically-based ignorant answer (I ain’t no therapist):

Couples begin to apply husband and wife expectations to each other that only represent what Western society has told us they should be. A husband is supposed to Do this and a wife is supposed to Be this - while neglecting and forgetting what truly tied them together in the first place: FRIENDSHIP. Friendship is universal. It begins with the seed of acceptance. Marriage is just a non-naturally progressive step we take to publicly ‘confirm’ our love. But, friendship is what MADE us us. Marriage does not!

Written by Muata. Inspired by the hysterical scene in the movie where it is apparent something was conveniently left out in moments of marital communication: The Truth.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Bible Quoting Zealots: The Helmet Head Mormons and a
Du Rag Wearing Christian

I STILL can't believe that people hold their religious books of faith to heart so defensively and dearly. These people are egotistical zealots and dangerous fanatics. They will die for the Bible, Koran, Book of Mormon, etc. Literally, offer-up their lives for aged writings.

The power of religious and scriptural belief continues to be exceedingly harmful, and it confines people to a small box that's protected and insulated by insecurity and fear which renders countless 'Believers' to intellectual retardation and spiritual handicap-ness. And, then violence e.g. Middle East Conflict, Christian Crusades, etc. develops because their arsenal of scripture does nothing but divide and alienate.

I was happy to see the Christian brotha stand his ground. I was impressed by his tenacity to convey religious ‘justifications’ via the Bible. However, I was disappointed that he did the same thing most Mormons do: Discount and Reject while uplifting their beliefs. Typical of bible quoting Christians - while never understanding that their book of contradictions actually sanctions and supports hatred that leads to the violence I referred to above.

Click below and then scroll down the web page to view video.

My challenging and controversial book, Exposing Christianity, My Way of Sharing an Alternative to the Church’s Truth can be purchased at

Shared with the world by Muata. Inspired by my book. Specifically, the chapter that explains how the Bible is flawed propaganda disguised as love, religious truth, and God’s word.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Katt Williams Wears Noose to BET Hip Hop Awards: Comedy or Foolishness?

This socially and culturally irresponsible crap was projected to the world while black congressional leaders were in Washington, DC on Tuesday, October 16, 2007 trying to convince lawmakers that the displaying of nooses should be considered a hate crime.

Black people need to stop condoning foolishness. Katt Williams was dead wrong, and definitely irresponsible for this stunt! I wonder if he understands that at this rate we (black folk) will never be taken seriously if we continue to take part in activities that demean our culture and race? I doubt he even cares! Or, perhaps he does. He did have a few insightful things to say regarding Jena 6, Michael Vick, and TI during his opening statement on the BET HIP HOP Awards – but I did not take him seriously as a result of his girly pink outfit and noose accessory. First impressions are key. They set the tone for what people think of you. Isn’t this important fact somewhere in the comedy manual?

It was my prayer for a white congressman to gain access to the picture (link below), and present it to the Judiciary Committee as an example of how we disrespect each other and promote hatred within our community. I wonder what John Conyers would have said? He would have probably been mad ass hell at this insensitive & tasteless gesture of "comedy" - but I bet you he would have also been speechless; rendered to a mumbling embarrassment. What could have he said? How could have he justified this mockery and insult to every person concerned about race relations and/or human dignity?

Of course there are plenty of black people out there saying, 'Man, it is all in fun. We tryin' to turn this noose thing into an endearment quality'. Meanwhile, waiting for a white comedian to do something similar so we can get all hyper-sensitive.

Remember how some black people responded to Michael Richard's implosion of hatred? Richards can't get a job working anywhere. Ya think Katt Williams will work again? He will. Probably working to continue regurgitating on African American heritage.

Too many black people are what?


Hypocrites with no essence of PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY directed towards our black ancestors!

I am tired!!!!!!!!!!!!


Would a Jewish person wear the image of a swastika on his or her
t-shirt to promote comedy?

We are losing this battle!

Written by Muata. Inspired by another disgrace perpetrated by a N-word!

Hey, I call it like I see it!

Monday, October 08, 2007

We are Crazy and Most of us don’t even Know it

Traveling down the same road breeds boredom and monotony. In relationships it is bound to cause frustration for the individual who was under the impression the subject that was discussed on the tired-ass road two-three weeks ago was a dead issue: Done with. Addressed. Solved! Of course, we all know that it does not work that way all the time. While I am of the belief that it should, I, more than likely am in the minority. Understanding that I perfectly comprehend that traveling down a more than familiar road does not excite people, it is my prayer you will stay with me for a few minutes – considering what I have typed below has been communicated by me on one occasion before. But, this time I am a tad bit more serious and determined to convince everyone reading that there is a pervasive problem among us that we must begin to identify as Mental Illness.

Mental Illness is real, and black people must begin to acknowledge its presence within our community. We can’t continue to taboo the subject like we have done HIV/AIDS. Insanity is not reserved for those black Vietnam War veterans we pass at highway exits. It is not some random disease that only affects society’s throwaways. No, Extreme Emotional Disturbance (EED) consumes the sista driving around in her silver Mercedes CLS63 AMG. What a hot ride! Mental illness is a part of the brotha’s DNA who appears to have it all together. The dude who has a certain je ne sais quoi that charms everybody. He has a metro-sexual contemporary furnished condo, a fly whip with factory rims, two degrees, a closet full of stylish clothing - and he goes to his $130,000 place of work each and every day as if there is not one problem. This man has it made. He is polished and put together quite well. He has to be. He manages multi-million dollar investments. But, one thing besides his loot and material items separates him from other fellas: He takes a “cuckoo pill” every night. This is the silly descriptive name he has given to his much needed chemical balancing medication. Yeah see, this black man needs something by the REAL name of Lexapro to manage his mood swings; his Major Depressive Disorder (MDD). If he does not take his daily dose, going to that six figure job would be out of the question. His Lazy Boy would surely get all of his attention. Along with the barrage of court television shows. And, on top of this depressing reality, his relationship with the woman who once believed her man was the shit, would be in shambles. Even his sex life would be almost non-existent because without that crazy man’s pill nothing ain’t going to pop-off up in his overpriced Ethan Allen king size bed. If it does, you best believe he is superficially in the sexual moment with his woman. He is somewhere far away dealing with his chemical imbalance that’s causing him to have suicidal thoughts. This man wants to die instead of getting that ass!

If I did not have your attention before I hope I do now because what I am trying to convey is critical.

It was not until Michael Vick was indicted on federal charges that I began to examine mental illness with more scrutiny. At the encouragement of Jay Steele, a lifelong friend and Elite, I actually began to convince myself that Vick’s self-destructive behavior could be linked to a psychological issue and/or disorder. Admitting to myself that Michael Vick’s actions could possibly be a result of a sick mentality appeared to change my opinion of the man I repeatedly referred to as Lamont Sanford (Dummy), but then I said to myself, “This man is stupid." Not crazy.” Nonetheless, isn’t it funny that stupid and crazy are used interchangeably all the time when referring to one’s unusual behavior? On too many occasions we regulate an individual to STUPID. It is easy to do this because it puts the responsibility back on the individual. It should be their act we are speaking of as stupid, not them per say. But, when it comes to crazy we rarely identify the behavior as crazy. We, immediately without caution, will say, ‘that Negro is crazy!’ while never believing it though.

This indicates to me that we are cautiously aware that some of us are mentally ill. However, we as a community fail to really do something about it. In all honesty, we don’t even address mental illness issues. We keep the person in the crazy category while never reaching over or back to provide that ‘in slavery’ type of love that was lost with integration. No, we are too far removed from identifying the obvious. For example, how could family members of Amber Hill, the Ohio mother of two toddlers, not know she was depressed? A deep depression, which apparently stems from domestic violence and the toughness of young motherhood, caused her to allegedly drown her two little girls. I will tell you why. Well, typically, if a brotha goes up to one of his best boys and say, ‘Man, I am depressed.’ The classic response: ‘Quit trippin’ and get over it.’ Or, how about this response that usually comes from a saved woman: ‘It will all be okay. Put it in God’s hands.’ You know I can go somewhere with this last piece of putting it in God’s hands foolishness – but I won’t today. This is how we help each other through mentally exacerbating times. We basically dismiss the issue as silliness, and as God’s help is all one needs. Where was God when Amber was holding her kids under a shallow collection of water in a low income Section 8 apartment bathtub?

Why? Is the question I would like to leave you with. Why aren’t we flocking into therapy sessions? Why are we the last to sign-up for a talk with the company shrink? Why aren’t we addressing the anger and resentment that sizzles through our pores? Why are we so afraid to admit that we have alarmingly serious psychological issues? Why? Perhaps, we are too ignorant to identify this sickness as mental illness. I doubt that. We are an intelligent race of people who are capable of accomplishing all things. We have been successful on countless fronts – but we are lacking in the win category when it comes to embracing our insanity.

Let’s leave the taboo and hush-hush realm, and do something to truly build each other back up emotionally and psychologically. None of us should feel alone in this world. The village proverb has to be reinforced daily. Just because some of us live in $300,000 homes is not indicative of everything is alright with us collectively. The essence of our stewardship should be caring for each other, and not this isolationist (black church) induced attitude: “helping only those members at OUR church”.

I always say that I am crazy. What if I disclosed to you that I am? Seriously, emotionally disturbed. What would you do as my brotha or sista? I ask again, what would you do? I don’t need to know what you would say. Give me your ‘doing actions’. Remember, I just told you that I am crazy!

Info on bipolar disorder and depression:

Written by Muata. Inspired by the two and four year old girls killed by their mother. Inspired by the fact that Isaiah Thomas regulated these young black girls to a bitch before they even became teenagers.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Hypocrisy: The Black Response to Racism

A few days ago I got lost in an area that’s known to those of us living in the south’s hotbed for gentrification as International Village. Getting lost is nothing new to me these days. I still consider myself “new to the city”. Wet behind the ears! A newbie! An addition to the ever changing city that’s losing its blackness: Atlanta, Georgia. Even the first chocolate city, DC, could not escape the entourage of Mid-town-type men buying up all the abandoned real estate. A power move that forces the blacks to subdivision haven: the suburbs. The new place for big city crime. Look out Kennesaw and Gaithersburg lifelong residents. Your neighborhoods are going to hell. Those people Chris Rock hates are comin with their loud rap music and loitering antics.

After becoming a resident of the state of Georgia, and one in thousands of transplants in the Atlanta metro area I continue to get confused with 285, 20, 75, and 78. Maybe it is me, but the highways appear to be interconnected in such a way that links up eventually. Perhaps some lifelong peach or falcon will help me out. Send me an email. After you send that email definitely continue to read my story:

I am not sure why that buzzing area that looked to be a place where chickens roam has the title International Village considering the only elements of internationalism are Mexican and Asian-themed restaurants. Physical structures bearing the names Pancho’s and New Seoul are only a couple of dining places that caught my attention when I was direction discombobulated. By the way, it has to be against health department code to hang roasted ducks in windows. Talk about great window space marketing!

Obtaining directions back to my rude Indian neighborhood and newly litter-filled by blacks former condo community was surely a reminder that certain areas in the south are also becoming a semi-diverse metropolises, and of course the ghettoism of littering has made its way to places of living that pride themselves on seclusion. Just can’t get a way from blacks who don’t care about where they lay their heads.

After three wasteful stops and attempting to communicate with nine people from Vietnam, a small village in Mexico, or wherever I began to get irritated. I was not frustrated by getting lost any longer; it was my hidden and subconscious racist thoughts that caused me to yell at the top of my lungs. At that moment, I thought to myself, ‘These damn foreigners! I can’t believe they come to these fa├žade of an united states, and refuse to speak the language that they will have to use while reciting the pledge of American citizenry.’ Can you believe that not one individual spoke a coherent English sentence? Unbelievable! What was also hard to fathom was the level of racist anger I possessed at that moment. I was spouting all types of slurs, and throwing all types of racism into the atmosphere. And, why? Because poor little bigoted Brian was lost and could not find his way to his place of solitude that’s turning into a miniature housing authority. A place that he would rather be all day anyway. Staying in my confines shields me from the nastiness that I was displaying in make-believe International Village. I was a racist with no concern for how my disposition was affecting those short brown skin men and women. I must have scared them with my big back, big head, and black black skin. Their words had to be: ‘What in the hell is wrong with this spook?’

Spook is such a derogatory term. It is demeaning. It is the worst descriptive term a white man could call a black man. Being called a nigger has lost its sting for most of us, but we still had the need to have it buried even when we continue to act like a damn N-word! Look at that: N-word. Why do we walk around here saying this? It looks and sounds stupid. What are we first graders? Why is there a need to literally control this word? Is racism still that hurtful, or is it something else causing all the ridiculous attention that Bill O’Reilly has received over the past week? The attention was so severe that Mr. Rainbow/Push Coalition decided to go on the O’Reilly Factor after denying invitation after invitation for years. I guess if Jesse is upset all of us should be.

However, I am not one of the countless black people fired-up over Bill speaking his mind. There was no reason for me to get my Hanes boxers in a knot when in fact what Bill O’Reilly said was not racist! Not even close. If you have only heard the parts of the audiotape that CNN published to the world (in their efforts to boost their ratings) please go back and take a listen to the entire transcript, and then remove yourself from the ‘I am a victim of racism’ posture. After sitting in this REAL place for a moment, you will discover that what Bill said was not bleeding with prejudice. In fact, what he said was not even inflammatory. But, CNN wanted us to believe it was - in another attempt for them to get more of us to watch their network while never disclosing to the public that they are way behind Fox in viewer-ship. The facts are not mine!

What is inflammatory is how so many black people have become hypocrites like those we really do not like: Some White People. I find it two-faced that we (black folk) will say to each other, ‘I pray no black person shows their behind up in this black restaurant and I hope we get decent service up in this black restaurant.’ But, when a white person thinks and says this he is a racist. Now, that is not unbelievable. I can believe that we are suspicious and critical of each other, but no one else can be. This is an affect of slavery. The excessively critical and baseless suspicion part. Something the inventors of slavery in America know we will never be able to shake: Self Hatred.

The very essence of hypocrisy is within us, and we need to stop allowing some egotistical zealot control our emotions. Stupid is what I called myself when I began to get mad at Mr. O’Reilly. Then I thought: ‘I need to have control over my feelings. Bill O’Reilly should not have this much power over me.’ If I was able to do this, why couldn’t all of Black America do it? I will tell you why: We continue to subject ourselves to their (the system’s) plan. We are so subjugated that the power we slowly gain day after day is quickly diminished because we have no clue of how not to give our precious power to someone else.

Of all people, Bill O’Reilly, dominated our hearts, minds, and spirits last week. An unintelligent and controversy-seeking man did all of this to us after we were successful at rallying against this decade’s most popular injustice: The Jena 6. Additionally, as we were fighting against this injustice we had a black man telling a judge and jury that it is okay for a black man to call a black woman a bitch. Of all people, Isaiah Thomas, said this with the confidence that other black men would agree. Whoa!

I ask again: Who is winning this battle? Last week I was convinced we were close to pulling ahead, and then we allowed our hyper-sensitivity and an arrogant former black unsportsmanlike basketball star to set us back.

Bill, you won! Go ahead and do what you always do: Gloat!

Black Hypocrisy appears to be conveniently infectious considering Brian Nichol’s new defense strategy states that years of racism caused him to kill innocent people in Fulton County’s courthouse a couple of years ago. Another black man not taking responsibility for his destructive acts. Sarcastically laughable and dangerously pathetic!

Written by Muata. Inspired by that person who called and asked me, “Did you hear what Bill O’Reilly said?” I heard his comments, I ain’t offended, and I will still be concerned about one of us showing their behind up in a black restaurant because we do cut a fool now and then. If ya black ya know what me talkin’ bout!

Monday, September 24, 2007

After the Journey to Jena

They are unrelentingly digging their heels further and further in the sixties blood soaked soil down there in Jena, Louisiana. The WHITE judicial system is refusing to reason with not only Mychal Bell's legal team, but they are with judicial arrogance proving to the thousands present in peaceful protest on the 20th of September and the millions issuing a black-wearing apparel defiance statement that they are in charge - and that no matter how many of God’s black children rebelliously demonstrate; a change with their racism will not occur on their watch. This watch of theirs has been slowly ticking in their favor for far too long.

It appears no matter how much we mobilize and strategize for some reason our efforts fall short while the racists remain on top and in a position of bigoted influence. This, justifying to the world that the evil of racism does continue to prevail despite our work to do things the way Jesus began his journey: Patiently and Non-Violently. This begs the question, how much longer do we have to behave in a manner that’s unreflective of the way that they taught us to behave and respond? It is violence that they used to make their points. They noosed us. They physically demeaned us. And yet, we have somehow been able to be Christ-like: Righteously Passive.

We have not been like what the Hebrew Bible mandates: “An eye for an eye.” We meekly evolved within the context of the New Testament while our enemies remain entrenched in the literal teachings of the Old Testament. Isn’t that something, black folk became new while too many white folk spiritually and religiously remain old? But, I am not surprised. What do we expect these white racist to do? Can’t we understand that if they do relent, and release Bell that they will display weakness? Weakness is not what they need to present to the Southeast and Midwest. They are on the Bush path of fanatical stubbornness.

I am of the belief that black people need to get violently fed-up just like Jesus Christ did with the Money Changers. His show of rebellion is revealed to us in Mark 11: 15-19. He violently turned over the tables in Herod’s Temple! And, it did make a difference. A change did occur at the expense of Jesus’ execution: The screaming alarm of justice was activated. It was through his death that we (black folk) now recognize a wrong while America’s justice system (the modern day Romans) continue to crucify our people without the slightest indication of remorse. A remorse that cannot be found in the current Grand Old Party. The GOP has not articulated a word regarding the Jena 6. They are no different from the changers of money in Herod’s courtyard. Capitol Hill crooks are what they are, and we continue to allow them to cheat us out of what is rightfully ours: JUSTICE.

This commentary was not supposed to be written in this vein. What I initially planned to do was share with all readers and bloggers my elatedness after experiencing black beauty in downtown Jena. The time we had traveling down was remarkable. The time we had while standing and walking for hours was refreshing. The time we had enjoying the love shared was wonderful. The time we had supporting Mychal, Robert, Carwin, Bryant, Theodore, and Jesse Ray was empowering. Lord, what a time we had! Beauty was at its best. On so many levels my experience was joyfully heart-touching, but tearfully sad considering we still have to march and protest. The tears we shed were well worth it. The lost in wages we will notice in our pay on the 30th was worth it. The lack of sleep and discomfort from riding on a bus for 9 or up to 27 hours was worth it. Los Angeles represented!

I would be lying if I said I was completely pleased on the day after Black America boldly yelled “Enough is Enough”. I was not. Actually, my feelings are hurt. Permanently damaged. I am so distraught by the news I received while drinking whack gourmet coffee at Caribou. Call after call and text after text was: No release for Bell and no new judge assigned to his case. Even when my conscious was aware that it would be difficult for Bell to go home and be with his family, I still had hope.

This hope black people have been holding onto for 400 plus years is so impeccable. When our minds tell us that reality will dictate the outcome, we STILL hold on. We have been so faithful under un-winnable circumstances: The Middle Passage. It does make you wonder: “If God is so Good, Why are Blacks doing so Bad?” Me and my slave ancestors have pleaded with God to show Himself, but what we continue to get: Divine inaction.

In spite of my faith wavering I and others will not quit. We will not stop! We keep pushing and praying for a difference to be made. For some that difference is in the unclean hands of our enemies. We foolishly continue to beg our oppressor to treat us fairly. Fairness is what we want! However, I am no longer thinking along these lines. My hope is diminished on this accord. The racist system within the United States will never treat us fairly, and black folk need to stop expecting this conditional charity. We will not get the fairness we deserve. It ain’t going to happen! I thank my new friend, Brother L.L. for convincing me of this. His persistent and passionate chatter while we were on the bus headed to Jena was useful - and his reaching out phone call to me on Friday as I sipped on the overpriced Mocha Delight sealed the deal for me. Thankfully, he was there to console me while a white supremacy group summoned its followers to lynch all the “Niggers who return to Jena.”

Think about it for a moment: Children expect their parents to be fair. Children grow up hoping life will be fair. Now, I ask, are we (black folk) children? We are non-aggressively petitioning white intolerants to be fair. This is ridiculous to me. We are not the white man’s children. We are destined to be a movement! We are not helpless souls wondering around on this earth. We are men and women who can defeat this kingdom of serpents if we discontinue buying into their retarded approaches to life. But, it will take bold political decisions and economic actions on the part of us who are dissatisfied. For example, Barack may have to sacrificially step out there a little bit more by taking a visible stand with Maxine Waters and blacks must hit the system where it hurts: In the pocket. Both can be and should be done.

All we have to do now is organize internally. National Action Network, the NAACP, SCLC, New Black Panther Party, and countless other groups must coordinate while individuals such as you, me, and these spineless churches provide resourceful assistance by simply supporting in a meaningful way. We can’t be like the followers of Jesus after he ram shacked that Temple in Jerusalem. They pretended not to know of him or his cause. We have to be the warlike zealots of Judea. They advocated the violent overthrow of the Roman Empire (America) and they also vigorously resisted the barbarous efforts of the Romans (white racist) to heathenize the Jews.
I don’t won’t to be a heathen any longer! How about you?

Black folk, we can do this. Lord knows I am believing this today. I am. Believe with me! Without this belief we will have only been successful at integrating with those men and women who hate us for no reason whatsoever!

Powerful slide show:

News Report:

Written by Muata. Inspired by the students from Prairie View A & M. A HBCU, and the second oldest public institution of higher education in Texas. The Historically Black Colleges and Universities represented! Who said that our students don't care?

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Mother Teresa’s Secret is Revealed: Is our Lord Answering our Prayers?

Jesus has a very special love for you. As for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great that I look and do not see, listen and do not hear.”

These are the words of Mother Teresa. She mumbled them to Reverend Michael Van Der Peet back in September of 1979. She was referring to her state of mind and spirit while working with the poor in Calcutta, India. A place where hopelessness was a part of daily life at the time, and as you can decipher, was a place where people like Mother Teresa who compassionately devoted time and effort to the poor people of India LOST faith in the perceived power of God. She subtly indicates that she was growing weary and that she was getting tired of waiting for a response from Jesus (Isaiah 40: 31).

The world’s greatest humanitarian icon insinuated a question and issued a subconscious command that I have been humbly articulating for years: “Where are you, God. Please show Yourself. Prove to the faithful that you are still King of the Throne.” The easy and typical Christian answer to my question: ‘God is present. You just have to believe that He is.’ Yes, this is the answer several of you reading would like to respond with, but at this junction of my life I have no faith in unison rehearsed and empty responses. No, I don’t! But, does this mean that I have totally lost all of my faith? Does it mean that I am an atheist? ‘I can see some of you trembling: Is Muata an atheist?’ Stop worrying. I have not lost or completely eliminated the belief in God from my life: theism. What I have simply done is re-instituted my Job-like questioning. Something I certainly believe the Lord wants us to do. Why shouldn’t we? We all know what the Believers believe does not make any sense at all. We know it does not add up. We know that the Believers believe because of their faith walk. Their reality has been consciously suspended in order to get on the road of salvation and to remain on the road to glory. The Believers' Christian message and New Testament traditionalism do not have to be coherent! Blindly trusting in God is all one needs to do (2 Corinthians 5:7).

Should we trust this God we apply so much reverence to? Should we really trust Him (2 Corinthians 1:9-10)? And, if you do trust The Most High ask yourself why. Is it because He has answered the prayers you claim you religiously offer-up or is it because your family trusted Him? I don’t need fideistic answers from anyone. No spiritual metaphysics, new thought belief, or ole time religion is necessary. My intentions are simple: I want us to be informed and reminded that the most faithful of us i.e. Mother Teresa had lengthy moments of suspended certitude. She essentially stopped believing that Jesus was present in the world despite what the Bible depicts. The book of man-written scripture does state that Jesus will not leave us and that His spirit is among those who do and don’t believe in and need him. But, the question, Where is He?, can be asked – and several of us know it is a legitimate question.

Perhaps, I am not praying right? Maybe, I am second guessing myself which in the rarefied church’s truth leads to sabotaging? Perhaps, I should go back to church? Surrounding myself with the Saints, the Beloved, and the Blessed & Highly Favored should help. Right? Maybe, I am forgetting about my Christian upbringing? Have I become too High and Mighty? Whatever I am doing, it must not be enough (Matthew 6: 33) or either I am rejecting God, His Son, and the Holy Ghost (2 Timothy 2: 19).

I should have a mustard seed of “favor” considering I have been devoutly praying for the soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan - but they are still getting their limbs blown-off. I have been praying that the Louisiana district attorney handling the Jena 6 case will change his heart (remove his racist convictions), and I have been consistently praying that I secure employment. I see your mind racing: ‘This is what this week’s commentary is about. Now, I know where Muata’s faithlessness discourse is coming from.’

Well, to be honest, yes, my present anti-believing writing platform does stem from my disappointment of not finding a job. I am tired of sending out resumes (over 300 in 3 years) to be told, “You are overqualified.” “While your experience is vast, we cannot appropriately compensate you.” And, this is the classic one, “Are you willing to take a significant pay cut?”

Pay cut? Let’s really talk about cutting. With all that occurs in this sickening world I am not only close to giving-up on God answering my getting-employed prayers, I am a step away from relinquishing all of my hope in things getting better for the world’s poor and the world’s forgotten. Keep in mind that the forgotten my just be all of us. Remember, God did promise us that His son would return. Unfortunately, Jesus’ return will be to CONDENM, and not to rescue us from the mess we have created. I find this to be so unfair: God creates the world. Claims He wants us to live abundantly, and then He sets us up for failure with His freewill concept.

“There is no hope for the future.” was Mr. Shakur’s thugly poetic message. He appears to be right, and it is the core message of Mother Teresa’s letters which are shared with us in a new book entitled, Come Be My Light – but we just pretend and force our imaginations to believe that ‘things will get better’ or that there is a “better place”. We have to do this in order to remain sane and moral. Imagine a society where no one believes in anything of significance. Imagine a world where no one gives back like The Compassionate One. Imagine if she would have quit after she lost hope. But, what is additionally significant is that we spend our lives trying to get to “glory” while never understanding that Allah wants us to have glory on what He created.

Muata is almost there (faithfully jaded), and he is not wanting to be in this mental and spiritual funk. He does not ‘trust’ like Peter did (Matthew 14:28-29). He wants to believe! He is in a storm now. Maybe a miracle will fall upon him? He does continue to pray that God does show Himself. If Jah does not, Muata will die broken-hearted by God’s unfulfilled promise. He did make us a promise (Romans 8: 18). Muata thinks we should pull The Lord of Host on the carpet. He needs to account for His lack of action and absenteeism!

As I close knowing that I sound so conflicted, please read the initial spiritual enthusiasm Mother Teresa had when she first began her journey to rectify the ills in India. She was full of faith. Living and sacrificing for the world changed her. Harden her. Defeated her. Watching God’s innocence and helpless perish – and His lack of response caused her to question just as Moses did when he needed ‘identity’ clarification from God (Exodus 3:13).

"It is not enough for us to say, 'I love God, but I do not love my neighbor’… God had made himself the hungry one — the naked one — the homeless one. Jesus' hunger is what you and I must find and alleviate…radiating joy is real because Christ is everywhere — Christ in our hearts, Christ in the poor we meet, Christ in the smile we give and in the smile that we receive."

Written by Muata. Inspired by Mother Teresa. I finally found someone who the Believers may not shoot-down because she lost her faith. I am waiting on your bullet, Mrs. Christian. Inspired by my hope that I will regain ALL of my faith in God. Getting a job will not completely do it for me nor becoming a best selling writer will do it for me. I need for this God of ours to remove all of the pain we bear as a result of His failure.

I ain't no devil. I am your subconscious.

My book, Exposing Christianity – My Way of Sharing an Alternative to the Church’s Truth, official release date is November 12, 2007. Ordering details, book signings, Meet the Author socials, and book readings are forthcoming. Stay with me, FAMILY.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Why do They Hate us?

A message for any black person who has felt the sting of RACISM:

Remember how you felt after watching Roots for the first time? Did you want to go out and smack a white person? I did. I can feel the anger I felt then. It is the same anger I have this morning.

After reading and hearing about the young black woman in West Virginia I wanted to ride out and smack the S out of the first white person I saw. But, I decided to chill. Reflect. Think about America, and its continued destruction at the hands of those who refuse to adhere to the hatred within their hearts.

If you know me you know that I detest this place on so many levels so keeping my cool is a challenge when we are dehumanized by white haters and even when we do it to ourselves.

Of course those six white evil-doers are not reflective of all white people in the United States - but one thing is for sure: these trailer park folk’s mentality is representative of the deep-seated hatred some white folk have toward blacks. And, you best believe that there are numerous white men and women who go to church with you, eat with you, and watch sports with you that have seeds of hatred in their souls, but in some way are able to contain it. I commend them!

What have WE done to deserve this level of hatred? I can't think of anything. We have been brutalized by THIER oppressive system since day one; and they hate us? That is crazy to me. Even those "liberal" white folk disliked us at one time. How could they not? We are demonized from left to right.

Anyway, I stop here. I see a white man. I want to slap the S out of him, but I know he is more than likely innocent. He is not responsible for his ancestors’ evils. Or is he? How many white people do you know who stand up for blacks? On a national or local level? How many? I ask these questions because if the white man I wanted to slap has not done anything to rectify/eliminate the hatred, he is in fact GUILTY just like his ancestors.

Tell me if I am wrong! If I am wrong someone help me understand.

Written by Muata. Inspired by the 20yr old African American woman who was treated worse than America’s pet.

Monday, September 10, 2007

The letter in the form of a commentary below has been sent to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and numerous other media outlets. The letter is not intended to insult R.L. White (President of the Atlanta Branch of the NAACP) and it is in no way intended to disrespect one of the once well respected organizations of the United States. It is my hope and prayer Mr. White and/or someone within the Atlanta Branch of the NAACP will respond not only to me (no one has returned my call), but to all their supporters! A response would be nice considering there is not one mention of the Jena 6 case on the Atlanta Branch web site. Unbelievable. We have to be the army for justice if our national and local self-made leaders, pimps for preachers, and established by the people organizations will not step-up. Power to the People!! -Muata

Where is R. L. White? - The Jena 6 needs his Support

Growing up in the seventies and eighties gave me a great sense of insight on how we should learn from history. Really learn from history. Think about it. The turbulent sixties had just ended. There was so much promise and expectation. Most Americans anticipated change. This is what blacks and whites stood side by side fighting off German shepherds and dodging water from fire trucks for. They wanted change, and we the babies of the bell-bottoms era are now benefactors of that sacrifice.

Where would we be without sacrifices from these noble human beings? They decided to give part of themselves so we can live a comfortable life. As I reflect on the Martin’s and Medgar’s I think of the NAACP. An organization that has been in the forefront defending the continued wrongs that are perpetrated by men who can care less about the sacrifices. These men are hurdles that have been difficult to clear, but the NAACP has somehow managed to defeat the perceived enemy of progress. It makes me proud when regular citizens decide to contribute time and money to this agency of change: The NAACP.

We all know change can be assessed in numerous ways. Typically, change is deemed worthwhile if a fair amount of people are affected. For example, eliminating legalized segregation was a remarkable advancement for African Americans. Not only, did this legislative mandate begin to permit more opportunity for black people on so many levels, it was a victory for countless civil rights groups including the NAACP.

When Michael Vick was alleged to be the mastermind behind a hideous crime the NAACP of Atlanta was there to support him. Even after Mr. Vick pleaded guilty for his foolish involvement with the despicable act of dog fighting the NAACP of Atlanta still remained by his side to provide support. Now, as a man who grew-up in those two decades while learning from the history of the 60’s I was pretty much flabbergasted by the allegiance Mr. R.L. White, the president of the Atlanta Chapter of the NAACP, committed to a man who clearly dishonored those ancestors who died so Michael Vick could play the sport of football on a national level. I began to question, ‘Is this what whites and blacks died to protect? and Isn’t Michael Vick someone the NAACP should lovingly condemn considering the circumstances of the crimes committed against America’s pet?’

This is where I was with my feeling concerning R.L. White and his NAACP. I was disappointed in his unilateral actions, and embarrassed for the change agency that I grew to respect. However, I began to reevaluate my emotions. I started to give White the benefit of doubt. He was just trying to protect the following: “All men and women are innocent until proven guilty” so he received a pass from me. But then, the case of six young men facing prison time for a school yard fight in Jena, Louisiana began to make the news in Atlanta and throughout the southeast. Another injustice is a brewing against the black man in the south. Was my first thought. And, of course my old time cherished memories began to flare: This travesty of justice will be handled appropriately by the plethora of black organizations within the United States. No worries.

I also thought about R.L. White, our so called leader. I have not heard anything from this man concerning the Jena 6. No news conference. No press release from his office. No return call from his office providing me with details of a NAACP of Atlanta chartered Greyhound to bus people down to Jena on September 20, the day of the rally and sentencing of Mychal Bell (one of the Jena 6). Nothing from R.L. White and his staff! But yet, he was in front of every camera supporting a man who REALLY did something wrong. The Jena 6 did nothing wrong. As a matter of fact, they have been wronged by the system.

We need you, R.L. White! You are supposed to be the people’s president. Where are you? We need your resources in Atlanta, and not the national chapter of the NAACP’s resources. Although they are assisting with the Jena 6 legal defense and promoting a petition, this is the same organization that nominated R. Kelly, the child molester and pornographer, for an Image Award after he was seen on a sex tape urinating on a 13 year old girl. I guess the apples are not falling too far from the tree?

Message to R.L. White:

We need a few buses to transport the real protesters of injustice down to Jena, LA. And, while you are working on that please contact and collaborate with some of these filthy rich and out of touch pastors of mega churches in the Atlanta area. They appear to be MIA also. I will be waiting for your returned call.

Written by Muata. Inspired by R.L. White's support of Michael Vick. Inspired by R.L. White's hush-hush on Jena 6.