There is much talk about Rozonda Thomas, her new show, and this 'list'. Lord knows I tried to be positive without fusing in reality. Notice that word: Reality? Lately, reality is mistaken for negativity.
Back to Chilli.
‘Man this man that.’ So tired of this chatter about black men and them being No Where to Be Found. Two weeks and counting of me hearing about the pathetic desperations of black women when it comes to men. It is absolutely disgusting. Yuck.
Was watching the Today Show this morning. Matt did an excellent piece on Working Moms. http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/36500286#36500286 - No black woman featured. That's to be expected. However, I began to think about the conversations we (black people) are having lately: ‘Man this and Man that.’ I began to think about how much black women focus on not having a man or believing that there are not any good black men. Then it hit me: The Message.
The message black women send to their daughters, nieces, and little girls in general...and teenage females. That message: You are Nothing without a Man.
I will stop here. But, before I go onto something worthy of my time (i.e. reading about the humanitarian, Alicia Keyes) I want to share with FEMALES an email a female friend sent to me after I asked her to help me find Chilli's 'list'. Here it is (below). Please read aloud the last paragraph!
“Hey Brian,
Can’t locate an all out list but here’s the closest I’ve found. She proceeds to run down a few items on the list. Chilli’s man can’t:
Smoke
Drink
Eat pork
Chilli’s man must be:
Super Fine
Have a six pack (abs)
Be well endowed
Love God
Never did she say he needs to be honest, sincere, ambitious, have a since of humor, intelligent, love kids, because we know she has a son. I just find her to be really shallow and self centered.”
Picture above: Beautiful...but she has turned me off big time. Big time. Amazing how attitudes and mindsets can ruin beauty...
Brian E. Payne sharing.
15 comments:
Reader Response:
hope I don't spoil this for anyone but you made me think of a recent movie I viewed. An attractive woman played a major role in the deaths of her only child and her husband (largely due to her emotional issues). She eventually is introduced to a well off, attractive man. The man and the crowd seemed pleased that the two have been introduced. Meanwhile I sat and wondered how long it would take before WHAT REALLY MATTERS in relationships is discovered.
-PM
Reader Response:
that's a great analogy, pat. i was kinda disturbed by that part of the film, too, but i just attributed it to the overall whackness of the film. but seriously--really good point.
-A Peaceful Journey
Muata ask:
What's the movie?
-Muata
PM responds to Muata:
Why Did I Get Married Too
-PM
Reader Response:
I agree with you too PM, and it won't take long because her emotional issues still exist and they will surface. You can only pretend for so long. But on another note, if anyone approached that film to get anything other than entertainment from it, then they have issues. It was entertaining and that's
about it!
-EFJ
Reader Response:
Same here. The exact reason, among others, that I wasn't quite feeling the end of the movie (and other aspects as well). As serious as the subject was, how does the appearance of a beautiful man make it better?? And while her smile indicated good times ahead, it looked more "crazy" than anything...in my humble opinion...lol...but I guess that's entertainment...
It pains me that its so easy to make light of relationship matters...there are individual issues that need to be addressed well before the quest for a "good" man or woman can turn out fruitful, appreciated, and properly nurtured.
I think its much too difficult for one to find, or even recognize, what is right and best for themselves as long as one has an on-going (mainly superficial) list of what they think it just has to be. Talk about blocking your blessings...
Identifying what you want - yes...but making more it about things that fade - not so much.
just my 2cents...
-ER
Reader Response:
On another note outside of this TIRED mantra about a "good man" is hard to find, this particular writer/producer does score some points with me by portraying character s with jobs that require education and professionalism instead of the usual athlete/criminal/thugged/downtrodden black that needs rescue from HARD TIMES.
-PM
Reader Responds to PM:
That is the exact same thing I thought of the ending and was amazed at how may people in the theater seemed like it was a good thing (based on their audible reaction) that she was meeting this guy. Although I know it's for entertainment purposes, for the life of me I can't see how anyone would cheer on a character such as this who has so much baggage and practically killed off her family (intentionally or otherwise). Entertainment or not, it speaks volumes on how we (as humans) will look at the exterior and run with it before digging deeper to the interior first. Needless to say, was highly disappointed in the ending.
-DM
Muata responds:
Peeps-
I am thinking something: Do we unfairly hold black movie makers (the ones who touch on social issues/ills) within the black community to a different/higher standard? If we do, should we? I just believe due to the historical rape of black people in every possible way that we (blacks in power position/influence) should be sensitive to what is projected. Right?? Perhaps, I am wrong...and, I often wonder what would I do if I were in their shows...
-Muata
Reader Response:
Please do not make sweeping statements about women and their feelings about men because I and many of my friends fall far outside of this picture that you have painted. I am raising a man and I as a woman instill in him on a daily basis that he is a wonderful man, loving, kind, smart, giving, helpful, and his own man and being his own man he does not follow others but his own heart and his own knowing, I tell him looking into his eyes, I whisper his goodness in his ear as he sleeps and I have him look in the mirror and tell himself what he loves about himself--as I don't want it all to come from me. So, please don't insult women like this because being one that comes from a long line of loving and committed women--I personally find it offensive.
Love you and all of your fire.
-*#$
Muata responds:
Never intend to insult/offend. This is social commentary. I write to generate a discussion. A platform to learn from each other. I really cannot identify where your issue on this commentary is. Help me. The fact of the matter is this 'list' is harmful. As the female who wrote the email implied: 'Where is the substance?"
-Muata
Reader Response:
Why are you wasting your email space talking about that trash? When I first saw the previews about what Chili wants, I knew it was garbage. Now I am going to have to straigten out some of your information. I believe you wrote........
The message black women send to their daughters, nieces, and little girls in general...and teenage females. That message: You are Nothing without a Man.
I was not raised to think I am not nothing without a man. It is the TV and the Movies that people are using to raise their kids teaching these young girls that you are nothing without a man. More often than not, if a black female is raised in a single parent home, she tends to pick up the habits of working hard and getting things on her own. Somewhere along the way, she gets caught up in society Bu$$sh&t and begins to think inspite of what she has accomplished, she has to have that male counter part by her side. I hope you are not using Chili as an example......uh let's see......LA Reid (dated him whiel he was married to Pebbles), Dallas Austin...gave him a baby.....Usher..12 years older than him and then on the stupid show I heard she was attracted to Floyd??? It is obvious chick did not plan life after singing, so therefore she thinks a man is what she need to complete her.....#(*@)*$@(*$........ According to this stupid list......
Can’t locate an all out list but here’s the closest I’ve found.
She proceeds to run down a few items on the list.
Chilli’s man can’t:
Smoke
Drink
Eat pork
Chilli’s man must be:
Super Fine
Have a six pack (abs)
Be well endowed
Love God
THis whole list says, I am hollywood, I don't want to look in the mirror and really see who I am and so therefore, if my man has all of these things, then he won't force me to come out of my lie!
THis damn show, that stupid show Pep and her girls are doing and I am not even going to talk about Basketball wives.....she black women as being shallow, self absorbed and always got their hands out. Let's produce a show and call it REAL PEOPLE!!! This will show the true struggles of black men and women and their day to day life no matter what life they are choosing to lead.
Can you get back to the real issues you like to discuss. I am personally sick of these sell out shows my people are doing because they won't take their ass to work!!!!!!!
PEACE
-KH
Reader Response:
Why would we want Ushers leftovers anyway? VH1 is the worst station ever. BP your mind must have been on spring break.
-LS
Muata responds to LS:
Cut me some slack, Larikus. I see this as a big issue. Young black girls are influenced by this foolishness. Yeah, parents are responsible for what is ingested via the tv. Parents are not always around. Hell, if you are not home schooling your children you as a parent are not RAISING your children. Period! The schools are. The after school programs are. These programs are full of little girls who are valuing that damn list. Let's view this from the affects it has on CHILDREN. Forget you, as an adult. We are not important in this mess. We have had our chance as adults. Protect the youth! Get rid of all these stupid azz shows. Stop watching them. I heard and read so many females relishing in Chilli's new show. Called a female while it was on. She could not may attention to me as I talked about my grief from the death of my mentor. Wow! Chill beat me out. And her list is all in the minds of impressionable girls. As I said, she has made herself unattractive. I would keep my fading six pack to myself now! Not with her.
-Muata
LS responds to Muata:
Valid points. Chilli sucks still!
-LS
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