Black Heritage...My Pessimism to Mirror Redemption

“I don't have the mental energy to invest. I am so tired of what black people have displayed in the collective. We will celebrate our history then we will gun down each other in a club parking lot. I just don't have it in me this year. I actually would feel ashamed to discuss black history at length considering we are truly not worthy of speaking of the remarkable contributions made by our esteemed ancestors. I am sorry, Family - I am literally beat down by what we have become. Again, I am so sorry. And, I wish I could be more upbeat with this brutal fact. I can't because of the projected number of black men that will be killed by another black man this February.”

That was my mental and emotional positioning on the eve of Black History Month 2011. I was certainly not in a celebratory mood. In fact, I was prepared…again…to totally ignore any efforts made by friends to spotlight African American heritage. I was that frustrated with black people in America!

Then on the 1st day of this Black History month I thought about how ten men and women, including myself, honored our ancestors every month starting in February 2010. For a year now, we have been responsible for either developing a Black Trivia or answering the trivia question. The effort required textbook research, writing, and internet investigation. Our objective has been met for the past eleven months. The objective

On the 2nd day of this month while trying to stay in shape and making an attempt to not die of a massive heart attack, I thought about the past. My past. I remember these words that formed into a sentence:

"Always strive to be better." –Mr. Alexander Watson, Former Black American History Teacher - Thomasville High School, Thomasville North Carolina

In my effort to be better I grew to love being black and Black People. Consequently, the love has been so intense that I have unfortunately alienated my white friends - and I have regrettably based my happiness on the collective accomplishment of African American people. Both, decisions have been severely detrimental. While both have been damaging, I believe the decision that has caused the most tragic emotional consequence (scar) is/was investing so much of my spirit in black American advancement and achievement.

Certainly, I acknowledge our progression. However, when I take a total stock of the success that we as a people have garnered I must admit that we are still in a less than desirable condition! There is no need to list the plagues that we suffer from...we know them. But, I will sadly acknowledge the condition that has black people on their death bed: Self Hate.

As a result of Willie’s psychology, countless white Americans chuckle at our non-progress; and the self hate has produced apathy, a ridiculously narcissistic ‘I am better’ syndrome, it has completely removed blacks from black pride, and the hate continues to produce House Negroes.

Then finally on the 3rd day of this month, I was searching for one of my favorite song son YouTube. I found it accompanied by a Black History video presentation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yC6a3HXfsE  

The lyrics were my motivation to focus more on the good without diminishing the reality. Goapele reminded me of the beauty. That beauty is evident in the Beautiful Struggle that’s documented in the video.

I keep hearing

sing those words:

“Close your eyes and see what you believe.”

Muata Nowe