Volume is not indicative of good sound and quality. Too much treble generates a piercing hissing sound and too much bass makes a crackling distorted sound. While I prefer a banging body-tingling bass I have discovered that heavy bass prevents one from concentrating on what makes a great song: the words. Words are what move us. Really moves us. It is the song writer’s ability to tell a story or convey what the heart desires that helps us to make decisions pertaining to our lives. It is the lives of people that are affected by the decisions we make to play the field, get married, and/or date.
Dating today for some has become boring, and pretty much a waste of time and money. Even with the high volume of women to men in the Atlanta area dating for men is still unfulfilling. Believe it or not, new sex just ain’t enough! Some of us do want more than empty sexual encounters. We are surely not interested in hearing a speed dating script of what a woman can do for us, and we definitely do not care about how many letters a woman has behind her name. The only letters most men deem important are NFL, MLB, PGA, NHL, and NBA! This is not to suggest that we do not value education. We do. We just prefer that a degree or degrees do not define a woman.
With all these women running around the ATL desperately looking for a man, dating is like trying on shoes for the man. Sometimes he will find a comfortable shoe and on other occasions of testing that shoe he will discover that no matter how good the shoe looks the shoe may not go well with anything in his closet. With volume you would think you would have better options. Options for that nice brown three piece suit. Not the case for that man seeking to be with a woman who has not resorted to objectifying herself.
Becoming an object for men to toy with has been a mistake for not only women, but for the black community. How can we move forward when our women have become shoe horns for men? I know for certain if I use a shoe horn to put on a pair of shoes those shoes are important to me thus the reason I am not trying to damage the shoes by slamming my foot in them without assistance. The shoes are essential for ‘the look’ I am trying to project, and why would I hurt my look? On the other hand, if I do not use my shoe horn it means that the shoes are disposable (not important): Ready to be passed on, trashed, or become collectors of dust.
Isn’t it ironic that a man will get rid of a pair of shoes quicker than the woman? Perhaps not ironic, but interesting. Think about it: A woman will wear a pair of shoes that are killing her feet, and yet she will walk around all day and all season with that hurtful shoe. She will hold on to her irresponsible faith that “the shoe will break-in” after a couple of months while never realizing that her undying endurance and wasteful dedication to feel better will not come anytime soon. This is the woman who has basically decided that the God-awful pain is irrelevant. This is also the woman who has objectified herself for that man. That man for her is the uncomfortable stilettos. But, what else is she supposed to do: Be alone?
It appears being alone is the last option for many women. While it typically and eventually becomes the best option for these women, it comes at a time when the woman has been humiliated to the point where her abasement and emotional scars have taken over her spirit. This woman has been broken by the disgusting philandering and dalliance of Mr. Playboy. She is in many ways no good for the man who really wants to do right by her. She is discombobulated by the toying of her feelings and by the other atrocious actions she has allowed herself to endure. In the end, it is too late for the ‘changed’ man and entirely too late for that once fertile woman - and most importantly it is too late for the black family.
So, what we have in The A is that much talked about volume that includes fine and sexy women. You notice that I did not include characteristics that truly make a person? Men in Atlanta do not get the necessary qualities of the woman until after she takes her behind off our penises on the dance floor. Anyway, I see fine and sexy women at the gas station, at the grocery store, at all the malls, and at the brunch spots after a wasteful two hours of Get Happy Time (church) – but what I do not encounter is a high number of women who have not become objects for us men.
What we (men) have caused is catastrophic for the black community. We are the ones who know that a great number of our women have been destroyed by the cheating, the DL-ing, the lying, and all those other things that are not representative of what a man is suppose to be. What we have become: Tired flimflammers incapable of hoodwinking ourselves into believing we are only doing what is permitted. We know we are wrong, but “what man in his right mind would pass up all this pussy?” This is the question so many of us have to contemplate on the regular. It should not be something we should have to think about, but I and many other men would be fooling ourselves even if we wanted to believe the question does not affect our decision making.
I want to believe men are thinking more about the magnitude of our shameful behavior has/had on our most precious human commodity: The Woman. However, the evidence of blown speakers are all around us. We need to pick-up the pieces and start again (turn down the volume).
Written by Muata. Inspired by that pitiful woman who told me she is terribly unhappy with her relationship – but she plans to stay in it because her so called man “pays the bills”.