The September issue of Essence magazine is packed with celebrity news. Beyonce declares Jay-Z is the only one for her and Janet Jackson indicates that she will marry JD if he proposes. The most intriguing article for me, however, is not filled with gossip. No, the article that grabs my attention has the word sex in its title. Hey, I am not the only man driven by the word sex. Chill!
My initial impulse ordered me to flip through the pages until I reached page 204, but I could not follow the command. I had to stop at page 11. On p. 11 there is a picture of Gabrielle Union. There was no way I was going to continue without lusting over Ms. Union. When I finally made it to p. 204 I was hit with disappointment until I glanced over to p. 205. On page 205 there is a picture that keeps me attentive in more than one way. Of course the picture is of another woman. A sexy woman in a bikini. It was then that I began to understand more clearly why Brazil and sex has such a close relationship. Yes, I have always known Brazil is a beautiful place and I have surely been clued in on what the fellas do when in Rio, but assistant professor of history at Spelman College, William Jelani Cobb, tells the world why so many black men are fascinated with traveling to Brazil.
I have thought about Brazil in a way that excites me and depresses me. Allow me to share with you my thoughts. Continue to read.
Traveling to Brazil sounds exotic. It sounds like an adventure. Adventure. Whew! While keeping my eyes closed to daydream about Brazil I visualized a beach with white sand, crystal clear blue water, an amazing view of a sunset, and women with beautiful copper colored skin. When I decided to open my eyes there was a hesitation. I began to think about the amount of sex thousands of single, engaged, married, young, and old men have with some of the most GORGEOUS women on the face of the earth while vacationing in Brazil. Sun, beach, relaxation, and an unlimited supply of Brazilian women. What more could a man ask for? Not only, are they chill’in to the utmost, but the price for the sex is at a cheap rate! Then my eyes opened completely. I began to think it would be nice to get a tan and relax for a week, but the sex thing would be an issue. I just can’t get pass: The exploitation of the poverty stricken, hopeless, and desperate Brazilian women that get paid thirty US dollars to have unlimited sex with an American or European man.
Mr. Cobb did a wonderful job of informing women of what really happens in Rio. It was almost like he was disclosing something new. Black men for years have been “getting away” from the hostile environment America has created. Actually, when we (men and women) vacation we are attempting to leave our real worlds behind us. Right? Black men traveling to Brazil to score is not the issue. The real issue is two fold. Black men are at war with the system and within his culture. He has to battle the powers of authority at work and then he has to, in some cases, come home to a newly cultured woman who believes and acts like she is the man of the house. Where can a black man go to retreat with this type of scenario? I will tell you where he goes in a city near you. He goes to Barley’s, he goes to H20, he goes to his boy’s basement, and he even goes to Magic City and Club 55.
He goes anywhere but to his place of refuge: Home. Why should he go if he cannot have the peace he needs and desires?
Don’t get me wrong I am all for a man addressing his issues on the professional front and on the home front. Some of you reading, particularly women are probably thinking, ‘Then he should man up and not go to Rio with the intentions to bang the Brazilian chicks!’ Easier said than done, Ms. Lady. A man will behave like the animal he is when he does not feel love, when he does not get the attention he needs, when he is not catered to, and when he feels trapped. We are like a tiger backed into a corner. Yeah, we will get out, but we will viciously devour everything in our path.
What stands out the most to me in the article is what I believe to be glossed over. A couple of men alluded to how they feel while in Brazil. “These girls make me feel like a million dollars...” When was the last time you heard a black man say that about his girlfriend or wife? “They stroke the hell out of your ego.” My brothas, when was the last time you said this about your woman? I am just asking because I understand this Brazil and sex relationship as a man’s way to feel like a man again.
He could be sexing everything that moves while in Brazil. He could be spending all his hard earned money on the sex. Both acts can be issues depending on where you stand on the subject. However, let’s not forget he is probably there because he is trying to escape. Escape his reality. Instead of condemning him (like most religious people do) let’s investigate the real issue.
You can say, ‘Brian, stop making excuses for those dogs and reckless men. And, stop blaming the woman for his flawed self-concept.’ I can understand why you would say this. What I cannot understand is your inability to think about why Tyrone is “releasing” even when he is on US soil. I also cannot understand why some women fail to acknowledge that women “get away” too, and while getting away they seek the same thing men complain about i.e. not getting attention, not being catered to, etc. Evidence of this is on page p. 207. Read the short article entitled, Sex on the Beach. In this article the anonymous woman tells the world about her and her girlfriends’ escapades while vacationing in Jamaica. Don’t focus on the sexual experiences these married women say they partake in while on vacation without their husbands. Notice the following statements: “It’s just that sometimes I wish he (my husband) would romance me and tell me I’m beautiful.” and “We felt like the most beautiful women to grace the earth.”
Rio is not the problem!
We (black men and women) have to dialogue and CONTINUE to do the things we did to get our mates.
Written by Muata. Inspired by the Brazilian woman on page 205.