The Value of Confidence is Dignified - and Damaging?

“…I can promise that meeting with me will not be a waste of your time. I will make myself available at your convenience. You may contact me at 404.1111.1212 or payne0323@aol.com.  Thank you for your consideration.”-Brian E. Payne

That’s my Closing on/in my cover letter. A friend of mine shared her cover letter with me a few years ago, and I decided to ‘borrow’ the closing remarks. It tickled my interest then – and it definitely fits my personality now. So, it is my non-cliché Closing. It is my way of projecting confidence prior to meeting me. 

At one time in my life I was incredibly shy. I was so self-conscious…having a large head and dark skin can challenge your self-concept. I recall how I would position my head in such a way that would not reveal its enormity. Basically, I avoided the profile view. But, I never allowed my unappreciated spooky complexion to defeat me. Light skin has played out…well, not completely. Herman Cain is not liked by politically-leaning African Americans for one conscious reason and one subconscious reason: he is a conservative Republican and he has that coonish skin. 

Avoidance or some degree of it is extremely popular for teenagers and young adults. When we are that age we try to do everything right so that we are not ridiculed by friends and friends of friends. As we age, grow into maturation, we…well not all of us…become more confident in are physicality and in ourselves in general. Confidence grows and evolves…

Confidence is a subjective characteristic that’s typically gauged by others. Actually, one can be the most insecure person but project bold confidence – and that’s usually what people walk away believing: ‘She is so confident.’ But, truly, she may in reality be one of the most self-doubting persons on earth. Thus the reason our conclusions regarding confidence are subjective. 

Conversely, I am filled with a tenacious confidence. Not as a result of something invalid. No…I am self-assured because of the results I have produced academically, athletically, and professionally. So, when another friend indicated to me that she likes my cover letter - but has an issue with my Closing. She said, “It reads a cocky.” That ensued a pause…a double read…a stop! 

What did she mean “cocky”. Knowing my friend I know she is only trying to help. She wants me to gain employment. I certainly understand that. I appreciate her because she has been in my corner without any judgment of me for almost 20 years. We have also provided each other with affection and companionship for what feels like a lifetime. 

Perhaps, a HR Generalist, Hiring Official, a resume/cover letter Reviewer, or one of these faddish life coaches my find my Closing cocky - but in my two decades of reviewing over 1200 resumes and cover letters, hiring up to 90 job seekers, nominating and placing well over 500 Peace Corps applicants, and approving 25 plus men/women for employment - I have determined that self-assurance is valued in the workforce. I definitely understand that there may be some intimidation that some feel. I am a big black guy living in red Georgia! That in itself terrifies white and BLACK people! 

BUT I refuse to lower, adjust, or downplay my High Point and Howard University-groomed competency and country boy likability to appease someone sitting across the interview table from me. I just can’t do it. Sadly, in a moment of doleful desperation during this stint of unemployment I have. The sense of ego loss and shame from dishonoring Minnie Payne’s guidance (a larger than life Humanitarian Legend) that I felt while sitting there looking anxious is probably what caused me not to get selected. I shrank myself to appease an overpaid, fat, full of himself, bad breath black House Negro. 

When I left that make-shift interview I decided then and there that I would NEVER EVER ‘hide my confidence’ for anyone or sacrifice myself for any amount of money! Since that day I have been at peace: Jobless – Non-Salaried – and without a Plantation Job. Yes…I have a higher level of dignity…not perilous pride. 

I will remain unemployed if I have to belittle myself to work for and with men/women who do not appreciate what the Samson of the bible displayed: 

 

Muata Nowe

Waiting for Notification…but do I really want the Notification?

You wake-up every morning wanting it to be different from the other mornings:

See an email notification in your Inbox that's promising...a job that meets your skillset and experience.

You spend part of your day hoping your cell phone rings...rings with good news, not a Christian’s Good News (‘Hang in there at least you are living.’) Although appreciated…but:

A hiring manager on the other end preparing to invite you in for an interview.

You spend another part of your day praying that you will receive an invitation to interview via electronic message:

'We are pleased with your resume. We would like to invite you in for an interview. Is Monday, the 15th at 9:30AM good for you? Please respond via email. 

Waiting on that Notification can be extremely nerve-racking. So much is consumed in the notification: self-esteem, self-value, recognition, education/experience acknowledgement, and bill paying preoccupation. Waiting for Notification is nothing like the wait a sexually active person experiences after a HIV/AIDS screening…please get tested:

http://www.hivtest.org/

 

All the unemployed desire/want is some level of 'outside' empowerment. It helps when we, the nation’s 14 million unemployed, are acknowledged. All the unemployed want is a job! It would be great if the job was within the professional scope of his/her background. If not, a job outside of the resume scope will suffice e.g. day labor, raking leaves, trash pick-up. Most of us are not above what is deemed as ‘demeaning jobs’. A job…any job builds confidence and self-worth. It helps the one who has endured a lengthy unemployment period to massage their ego. Unfortunately, we –the United States of America- have created an environment where our identities are attached to our work. I say 'unfortunate' because in the throes of unemployment we –the job hunters- are desperately seeking 

NOTIFICATION. We live to work, and not live!

http://www.esd.wa.gov/uibenefits/fileweekly/extension/emergency-unemployment-compensation.php

 

Notification is what I received a month ago. Thanks to President Obama, EUC will benefit me. Emergency Unemployment Compensation was extended by President Obama earlier this year. I am thankful for the extension…guess my vote was with purpose! That’s about all I have received from my constitutional right. A right that many ignore. One time in my life I would ridicule those who do not vote – but of late (the past 3yrs) I have changed my tune…simply put, voting in a federal election does not make sense considering the deciding factor is usually the Electoral College. Nonetheless, I will vote again with annoyed trepidation. 

I need EUC…which is tagged as a handout by many Republicans considering I linger in employment uncertainty. Well, I am backstroking outside of my training…I do whatever it takes to make the ends meet - and with this new survival motivation that stems from my need to make money, I must admit that I am thankful that I am experiencing Unemployment at this stage in my life…it is another joyful opportunity to experience Humility and build Dignity. 

My ancestors picked cotton so that I could acquire the White Man’s prerequisites! Don’t be fooled everything that people of color reach for is what the pilgrim’s descendants approved. 

The task now is to keep mine eyes on the prize. I must not get too content. I must not stop searching for a job that will provide health insurance for my boys. I must not become lazy. Shiftless. A deadbeat. A societal burden. And, believe me it is relatively easy to fall into that pitiful place:

To NOT Wait for Notification

EUC in some ways is a double edge sword. On one end the unemployed need the extension to survive and on the other end the unemployed can become mighty comfortable for two years doing nothing to get back into the workforce. Nada! I am at ease - but not so comfy that I do not rise each day hoping for NOTIFICATION.

 So tempting…EVERY Morning

However, I must confess that it is quite enticing to just roll over and play with myself…it is safer too!

It is also easy to collect a check each week, to not have to worry about anyone from the Dept of Labor checking up on me, to not participate in any of the mandatory trainings/classes that the Dept of Labor indicated the unemployed would have to, and to never go back to the Dept of Labor for anything. All we –the unemployed- have to do is communicate with…well not communicate but listen to a voice automated system and press the right buttons on a smartphone. 

http://www.messagingservice.com/media/play-demo.htm

Automation Made Easy...just like today's Unemployment made easy by the United States Government…the government has no other choice…There be no jobs out der!

 

Muata Nowe

One thing I can count on in my Circle of Life are random opportunities to gain clarity with the help of a friend. A casual conversation can change my outlook…a viewpoint that has been a part of my DNA for the longest time can be altered with The Word…a wise word not a clichéd reformation of canonical scripture.


We get older and wiser. Then we experience, The Chance – not a preacher approved Godly retribution.

A Chance that forms as a result of the decisions that we make. It is one step forward with numerous steps backwards, and if we are stuck in the Learning Curve that learning constantly introduces we are not getting wiser. To be wise is to be Simple.


A reduced priced T-shirt from Target, a pair of aged cargo shorts that were pants in another life, and a pair of vintage black high-top Converse are classic items that scream, Simplicity.

This is what one of my best friends helped me concentrate on a few days ago, Minimalism. He said, “I am so tired of all this rhetorical verbiage that dictates what is necessary to Make It…all this emphasis on the American Dream…what is that anyway? It is simple for me…I want my life to be modest. Nothing more, nothing less.” –The Teacher


I am definitely in agreement! I am so thankful that I did not terminate not knowing that a life lived…really lived is one of Simplicity. The cars, houses, shoes, clothes, all this materialism consumes humans. Avariciousness occupies our thinking, our lives. This Occupation is a self-made trap that entices.

It is like a rat that knows if he steps forward to reach for the cheese he is going to suffer a major consequence, Death. It is as if the rat wants to die just to get a taste of the finer things, aged cheese. Human beings are the rats. We want, we desire, and we covet to the extent that we die chasing a Dream that’s fantasy; that was defined by men who were banished from Europe, The Forefathers. Inconsequently, it is a ‘thing’ that we will want to eliminate when we finally reach a state of non-Occupation.

The men and women who are occupying space, not a Cause, are commendable – but in the same vein they are hypocrites. Sadly, they have no idea that they are the stink bugs of Hypocrisy. They are Standing for what…? They are fed-up with elected officials ‘making it easy’ for the wealthy. I to some extent agree with them. However, I also remember bits and pieces of my Intro to Human Psychology class. Most of the Tent City Occupiers know that they would eagerly jump at The Chance to be rich. They would be just like this One Percent of people that they find pleasure in demonizing while taking pleasure in identifying themselves as the righteous Ninety-nine Percent.

99% is the latest and greatest fad. In my complex lifetime, there is nothing Simple about a fad. It is usually consumed by bandwagon folk who have no individuality. To be eccentric he/she HAS already embraced the Simple things.


I often times wish that I would have learned this years ago as an undergraduate student. I, many of us, were so green…we studied and passed our exams so that we could put ourselves in a position to make money: attain letters behind our birth certificate names. We stayed up all night fueled on No Doze memorizing so that we could ace the test or cheat to pass…this effort taken to be among the One Percent or at least in the class of The Middle and Upper Middle.

We certainly did not acquire student loan debt to become friends with Sallie Mae even though she periodically sends text messages laced with default threats. We did not acquire student loan debt with the hopes a liberal black president would bail us out. We did it to make money! With that same money many of us idealist Democrats would have – and some have – purchased the Mercedes truck and the oversized house…two items that we will never really own considering paying a tax on both means that at the end of the day: The Government owns the vehicle and the home.

Americans got it all wrong. Life is Simple, not tough. It only becomes complicated when we convolute our existence with outlandish expectations and outrageous STUFF. My friend, The Teacher, and I have vowed to downsize our lives in an effort to be like Jesus….

St. Lucia, Peace Corps Service 1995

Yes! Jesus was a simple man. Many of us pass the essence of Jesus day after day never realizing that Jesus is the one who looks poor. He could very well be a child in disguise...He might just be the boy in the middle holding a representation of maturation, a Birthday Cake or the girl to the right holding life, The Baby.

Muata Nowe

Crazy People are the Real Patriots

They maybe "disorganized". They may not have a solidified focus - but their voice must be heard. The present 'Occupation" that's taking place in various cities within the United States of America is a People's outcry that should get the attention of impotent politicians. From the White House to the Capitol Building there is significant failure. A failure that could be avoided if mostly white men and one mixed man would just put the country first. Put the People first! Unfortunately, they will continue to take the United States to hell. She has been on Her way...but over the past three years it is evident that The Speaker and his Crew are the Party that will go down as StoneWallers of policy that could advance the country...simply because the pigmentation of the President is BLACK. It is ALSO evident that The President and his Liberal Buds will go down as the Excessively Liberal Crew that has attempted to Change this nation for not the necessarily BEST. Most importantly, the men and women (MOSTLY WHITE – Blacks are too satisfied) are doing what we ALL should be doing: VOICING discontent. I appreciate these people. I admire them. I will join them soon! If all we ALL camped out on public property in protest, stop going to work, stop using public transportation, stop shopping, stop doing the things that keeps America going…We ALL will be better off. Join me in honoring the Change agents by reading the following statement from a man who was not AFRAID to step out! Step out on Faith…without a concrete plan…He just ACTED! He was crazy!


“Here’s to the crazy ones, the rebels, the troublemakers, the ones who see things differently. While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” –Steve Jobs

Muata Nowe

God's Favoritism

 Yeah...Right...Really???

Amanda Knox is coming home NOT GUILTY…

The two American hikers jailed in Iran for breaking the law were set free… 

Troy Davis was legally killed by the state of Georgia… 

I am certain many prayers were sent up on behalf of all…but Troy's worldly body is food for the maggots! Just ain’t right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is a black life worth…divinely? I have said time and time again that God must have major issues with people of color…the dark people of the world. Just glance back over the history of the world. And, don’t say that I am blaming God for man’s injustices. I am stating a fact. Conduct the research…God does not like black/dark skin people.

Say it ain’t so!

Does God have it in for black/dark skin people?

And some say that we (black/dark) people reverence/adore this God the most...????

Muata Nowe

Troy Davis, The Death Penalty Reconsidered…Without a Doubt

 In response to the pending Troy Davis execution (7pm tonight – Jackson, Georgia) someone asked me, “How do you feel about the death penalty?” Damn…another question that reminds me that I am getting old. As I move closer and closer to my porch, rocking chair, tobacco pipe, never-ending glass of Fire Fly Tea…with Jesse at my feet and my boys taking care of me - I am becoming a little less abrasive and more compassionate. 

The Death Penalty…???

 Stephen Hayes

If a deranged lunatic savagely killed my mother, sisters, brother, children or baby mommas, I am certain without any doubt would be the aggressor in issuing the death penalty. I would do the killing. No questions asked. No taxpayer-paid board making the decision to terminate life or not. Of course, the guilt of the fool would have to be SOLID. No questionable areas. Unlike the lingering doubt that was not successfully factored into Georgia’s Board of Pardons and Parole decision to uphold the execution Mr. Troy Davis. The board,

http://www.seattlepi.com/mediaManager/?controllerName=image&action=get&id=1610587&width=628&height=471

My equally ferocious killing of the maniac stems from my Hebrew Bible embrace…well, parts of it. It is also reflective of my ability to be full of rage. As I read and participated in several blogs and Facebook discussion about what the State of Georgia plans to do on September 21, 2011 at 7PM, I am no longer consumed with the fury I felt a few days ago when I began my ‘highlighting’ of the Troy Davis case. Tuesday morning when I received word that he was denied clemency, I initially did not respond – but then I checked my phone. That question was in my Inbox: 

“How do you feel about the death penalty?”

 

I FEEL the death penalty could serve a good purpose if the world’s judicial systems were created to issue impartiality. I also FEEL I would be okay with a ‘live by the sword die by the sword’ punishment if the system was not diseased with favoritism. Let’s face it…Caucasians have benefited from an unjust process. Let’s face it…darker people of the world have been innocent victims of the inhumaneness of White Supremacy…a ruthlessly attained sovereignty that has a foundation of infinite inequality. Let’s face it…money and dynamic attorneys have and will continue to get the worst of the worst of hominoids off...and yes those people are and will be of any race. Money rules! But, it does mysteriously appear that when a black man legally earns/acquires significant wealth he is ‘scrutinized’ with a vigorous zeal to destroy. Troy may not have had enough money? Classism is the other noticeable elephant in the room.

Troy Davis will be lynched (I learned yesterday that the word lynch was not exclusively used to identify or define a hanging) also in part because the slain officer’s family believes that they will be at peace with a

carried-out death sentence. A black man has to die. The blood thirsty Dixie mob made its way into the 21^st century.

I am convinced ‘death issued’ by flaw-plagued and guilt-riddled humans will not and cannot bring peace. Even if I were to kill someone for brutalizing my family I know without a doubt that I would not be at Peace. 

Sadly and fortunately, peace will be enforced by man and granted divinely to Troy Davis come 7:15pm Wednesday, September 21, 2011. He -in all of this- Troy is the only mortal gaining what all of us seek:

Now that I understand that - I am relinquishing my selfish desire for Troy to be saved…he will be free – and thankfully I am one more step closer to Freedom. We die every day…

Muata Nowe