Wednesday, December 13, 2006


1 Corinthians 13

If I talk with the tongues of men and even of angels, but if I do not love people, then I am only like the sound of a big horn or a loud bell. If I speak words from God, if I can understand all secrets, and know everything, if I can move mountains by believing, but if I do not love people, I am nothing, even though I can do all of these things. If I give away all I have, and if I give my body to be burned, but if I do not love people, I get nothing out of it. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous. Love is not proud and does not boast. Love does not do things that are not nice. Love does not just think of itself. Love does not get angry. Love holds no wrong feelings in the heart. Love is not glad when people do wrong things. But it is always glad when they do right. Love forgives everything. Love is always trusting, and always hoping, and never gives up. Love never ends. The gift of speaking words from God will end. The gift of speaking in different tongues or languages will stop. The gift of knowing many things will end. Now we know only a little, and we can speak only a little of God's words. But when everything becomes perfect, that part will come to an end.

Corinthians’ Description of Love: We can get there

It is not too often that men will share with others their feelings regarding love. Actually, men and women these days rarely use the word in the most accurate context. Saying you love someone is powerful. Saying you are in love is even more powerful!

I have told three girlfriends that I loved them, and on each occasion I meant it. There was no doubt about it. I felt it! Of course my future dictated something totally different because I am no longer with either one of them. These three wonderful black women brought joy and happiness into my life for a season. They were additional blessings for me. Without experiencing what I believed love to be with them I would be somewhat incomplete! Love is that significant for us. It is something that should be cherished and honored. Without it all of us would be void of God’s most precious gift.

Back to the love I’ve experienced.

The love I had for Pretty Eyes, Juicy, and Mango consumed me. I remember the so called stomach aches: the butterflies. The excitement I had when my phone would ring. I just wanted it to be the one who I told I love you to three hours before on the other end of the phone. She was my world, and all I needed was her. How I occasionally miss those days, but fear them also. Yes, fear them.

Now that I am a survivor of the pain love causes. And, now that I have somewhat of a better understanding of love I really want to experience it in its truest form before I checkout of here. The scripture above is a definitive definition of love (even I am willing to give the bible its props when deserved). The biblical description of what love is suppose to be makes me wonder if we are able to adhere to it. Can we? Think about what it requires. Now, think about how much peace we would have if we truly could do what Paul, the writer of Corinthians has suggested. Oh, what a treat this would be! To love with all our heart without fear of the heart being crushed. Oh, how different this world would be! To love without the fear of betrayal. To love without fear of being played. To love without fear of being disappointed. To love without fear of being embarrassed.

Lord, how I wish all of us could love with the capacity you mandate!

Don’t you desire this type of love? I do! I want this type of freedom. Too many of us are living day to day lonely and heart broken; and never experiencing any type of freedom. The songwriter wrote, “I wanna be free.” But, how many of us are prepared for this freedom? Can we even receive the ultimate true love?

If you believe in God you know that He has been good to us. He has given all of us the tools we need to be loved and to love someone, but some where in our evolvement we have forgotten how to love and be loved. We have been caught-up by the “feelings” and not the common sense that should be used when having the “feelings”. A friend of mine told me, “Brian, love is secondary and compatibility is primary.” Let’s explore his statement. What are we suppose to do with those “feelings” we have for each other if compatibility should be established first? What makes us stop the calls we make over and over again just to hear her/his voice? What do we do with those thoughts we have while at work or before bed time? My answer: table the thoughts and feelings until a compatibility review is conducted. Easier said than done! I realize that. We all know the fleshly pulsating that tempts us. Nonetheless, I am convinced those “feelings” fade over time. Even the pulsating ones.

Many of us think we can rejuvenate the love we have for our significant others at the drop of a dime. Considering the divorce rate and unhappy people who are married this rejuvenation is not working.

Landing that girlfriend or boyfriend has a lot to do with understanding yourself and understanding what you are able to endure from that person. Enduring should be thought of in the positive sense here. To endure means to bear without resistance or with patience; to tolerate. Conducting the compatibility review is not resisting the love. It is fusing in mind clarity (common sense). Temporarily halting those feelings that typically lead us into the bed is being patient. Tolerating each other once together as a couple is not all that bad. We all must tolerate some things to be successful. This is called compromise.

Don’t you want to be successful at loving someone? Lord knows I do and any man my age who tells you something to the contrary is lying. He wants to be sprung and in true love just as much as most women do. Actually, the men I know who are 30 plus are tired of the playing. Our only issue is fear and the inability to conduct a real self analysis.

The conqueror. The man. The head wants to experience this peace and freedom. (Brotha’s, we can’t get to this place with da games). It is my prayer men acquire peace and freedom the next time around. It is also my prayer a woman’s motivation to get married is not tied to the biological clock, the excitement weddings generate, and/or the “need” to have a man. If we truly marry for compatibility and Corinthians’ brand of love maybe the American family will be strengthen.

Written by Muata. Inspired by the feelings I had for Sparky. Lord knows I loved that dog.

Happy Holidays!


Muata said...

Reader Respones:

You are really closing out this year with an awesome message. I think this is one of the best commentaries that you have written this year. I thought it was interesting to discover that you had been in love three times in your life. Very, very interesting, I may add!!!! I believe the reason why we have problems with finding our soul mate is because we have problems with listening to God and following his instructions. I am willing to wait on the man that God has created for me and me only. I do not believe in sharing!!!


Baby, baby, baby this is all so true. I’m so proud of you... to have such a spirited talented man in my life... I’m with you all the way about women thinking that our biological clock is ticking. Well, yes, but must let God’s will be done and believe and keep the faith for things that we can not see. Just like in Romans 8:25 which reads: But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it. So, I have to continue to keep the faith and be patient in all aspects of love.


Muata said...

Reader Responds and Muata Addresses Questions:

Wow. Pretty deep! I always thought that I had been in love but in reading about the "Corinthians" brand of love....I'm not quite sure. Do you really think love is about being able to tolerate someone? Are you sure you do not want to be a preacher? This commentary could have been a pretty good sermon.



Tolerate should definitely be viewed in the positive sense here. I think of it as compromise. Compromise is hard for a lot of us. I am one who is hesitant to compromise because for some reason I connect compromise with relinquishing part of myself. To give away part of me means I have to give of my soul/heart. Scary!!

Going into the pulpit has crossed my mind on several occasions. However, I am not ready. I want to do it the RIGHT way. No half stepping! There is too much of that going on in the church now. Preaching should be viewed by all preachers as serving HUMANITY. For the life of me I cannot comprehend how some of these preachers play with the lives of HUMANITY.


Muata said...

Reader Respones:

There are so many misconceptions, pre-conditions and fairy tale views on love... In my opinion men and women are a million miles away on their views of the word love and what it represents to each of us. I can truly say based on what I learned as a child about love and my experiences with various types of love, I have never really loved anyone nor have I had that love reciprocated. See I believe love is based on your core belief system just like anything else. In most cases people have varying core belief systems; therefore there view of love for each will be skewed. If you believe love is based on the bible, i.e. love is patient, love is kind, loves is longsuffering, etc. Then why look to love people who deviate from that definition of love. If you believe love is a feeling, why stay with people when you don't feel anything. If you feel love is representative of someone taking care of all your needs, then why don't you do they same for them? LOVE is a dependent on the 2 individuals committed to their definition of LOVE or else LOVE is a big fat LIE. As you can see I'm pretty passionate about this topic.

Before you can experience true love you must RESPECT the person that you love. Respect is a key ingredient for love. If you live by the premise that woman was created for man and that woman was created from man, and that we were created for each other and should function as one, every time we show disrespect for each other we show disrespect for ourselves. Therefore if you disrespect yourself that means you don’t love yourself which means you can’t possibly love anyone else


Muata said...

Reader Respones:

This was nice, deep and true. Wow, this is my life. Not the biological clock or needing a man, but the fear and compromise.


I felt this way with/about _______ albeit we were so young. If I never feel it again, I'm grateful.

-A Man

Muata said...

Reader Responses:

Times...they are a changing..............sounds like someone is growing up when it comes to this thing called LOVE.



I had this discussion a few days ago with a friend. We do need to rethink this love thing fo sure!


Muata said...

Reader Responds and Muata Responds:

As usual, I read your scriptures and commentaries thinking I can gain some insight on the "real" you. As usual, I am left knowing you really are complex and conflicted.



Haven’t you noticed? I don’t want to be figured out. I am complex! If you figure me out then I will be boring. No, seriously this is who I am.

And, who is not conflicted by living in this HYPOCRISY that we call the world? We are lied to from day one about numerous things, even LOVE.

I am reaching for the keys to my mental shackles. I am determined to remove them before I check out of this place. I refuse to be a slave/prisoner to this SHAM we have bought into. Join me!!!!!!!!!!!


Muata said...

Reader Responses:

I love to read, so keep these emails coming my way.


I am so happy you added me to your email list. You have inspired me and Sparky (husband) too…