Tuesday, May 30, 2006

A Letter to Those Cautious Women: The Definition of Metro-Sexual

Announcement:

Every sexually active individual needs to be cautious about who they sleep with.

Why wouldn’t you be under the present circumstances: Rampant increases in sexually transmitted disease infections i.e. the big one: HIV/AIDS. However, it is my belief this leeriness is not solely associated with sexual behavior. I am of the belief women are also concerned about who and what they devote themselves to. What do you mean by “what they devote themselves to.” Well, it is a fact there is a huge percentage of men in Atlanta and throughout the world who are double-dipping or should I say undecided? If you are a double-dipper you are playing with someone’s life. Their life is not your playground or your backyard of exploration. If you fall in the undecided category please keep in mind or be informed that who you say you love is more than likely not equipped to psychologically assist you with your dilemma. You need some level of therapy to help you come to terms with the issue. And, by the way, this is not something TD Jakes can cast out of your body.

Now, to the subject at hand. The Metro-Sexual. Who is this man? What makes him tick? Why is he misunderstood?

Ladies, you asked us (men) to take off the Timberlands. You demanded we tuck in our collar shirts. You even required we pull up our pants a little. Then you went on to hint that we need to remove the athletic caps, and trade them in for a more stylish hat.

You suggested we get a monthly manicure and a pedicure. You asked us to shave our chest hair down to a non-abrasive length. You even strongly recommended we put wet wipes in our bathrooms.

Ladies, you asked us to use correct English in the home, and demanded we get rid of the street talk. You encouraged us to start reading books, and not just the sports page. You even convinced us to become more internationally astute. Then you succeeded at hoodwinking us into eliminating Sports Center from our television viewing repertoire.

You came to our homes, and concluded the décor was cheap looking and outdated. We went shopping with you to “beautify” our place, and while spending our money to redecorate our place of refuge, you slipped a pair of shoes in the shopping cart. Then you lead us to believe painted accent walls were in.

And, ladies, we even altered our eating habits to appease you. We put down the chips. We decided to eat more WHITE MEAT chicken. What happen to the leg and thigh? Now, we eat skinless breasts! Then we fell for this one: ‘Baby, if you are going to drink beer maybe you should drink one of those low in carb’s beers.’

Fellas, we have been suckered! Lead astray!!

Ladies, guess what? We are now what you groomed, cultured, and molded.
We are Metro-sexual!

A description of the Metro-Sexual:

An urban straight male ranging in age from late teens to mid 30's who is good looking (FINE), stylish, fashionable, trendy, cultured, & well groomed. A metro sexual is very conscious about his image and looks in public. He is well educated, confident, knows what he wants in his life. Prefers quality over quantity. He always wants to make sure he is up to date on fashion, and usually he is the trend setter, and he is open to new things as long it is worth his time and money.

He is a hip guy who is sensitive to women's feelings and spirituality. He is not even afraid to say ‘what a cute little purse or those shoes are hot’. This man is tuned into the very core of women, noticing every detail about them. Yes, he knows when it is time for his woman to get her hair FIXED. He is not open to too much weave. Extensions get in his way and makes his woman look superficial.

He is meticulous about his stuff and he is a decorator who does not need a woman’s assistance in making his home comfortable. His home probably speaks volumes about him, and he wants to make a statement to all his visitors.

He loves to make love to his woman, and he knows exactly how to please her affectionately and sexually. If you want to get banged every time, too bad. He wants to be passionately erotic. He may not be into the oral sex thing right out the gate! So, don’t get disappointed if he passes on that the first, second, and third time around. He is only being health conscience and he is just making sure you will not lose your mind because he plans to do it sensually.

Oh!, and he is definitely, not gay. He just wears a tight t-shirt because he is proud of the body he has sculptured by working out four times a week. Actually, he wants you to join him on the elliptical machine.

You know you want this man!

Written by a proud dark-skinned Metro-Sexual. Inspired by all the women who convinced her man to watch Desperate House Wives instead of the featured NFL Sunday Night Game on ESPN!

9 comments:

sj-the-infamous said...

Payne --
I agree with the opening announcement: "Every sexually active individual needs to be cautious about who they sleep with." Other than that, this is a buncha bullsh*t. The "metrosexual" is not my adversary. Suckered, hoodwinked, bamboozled, led astray my ass. Brothas oughta be clean, ought to be hip, stylish, educated, health conscious...and if he is watching Desperate Housewives and not ESPN because she made him, not because he wants to, then he is more punk than anything else. Negro puhleeze...eat more p*ssy instead of blaming it for making you "metrosexual"....

Then we might not have to question our devotion...cuz sistas WILL devote much time to the brotha that handles his biz orally, trust!

Hilarious....

sj-the-infamous said...

Now, as for these "men" in Atlanta, "undecideds" and what not?!

After what I witnessed this weekend, that is a whole 'nutha post LMAO

Muata said...

sj-the-infamous-
I am laughing my behind off! You are a trip. Thanks for your feedback!!

By the way, I witnessed what you did this weekend also. What a shame! I find it highly pathetic that this city has become the Mecca for men who are not confused. They are exactly what you see: Gay. No confusion whatsoever. Also, it is disturbing at the number of youth who are embracing the homosexual lifestyle.

Anyway, you are right this is another commentary. Stay tuned...

Muata

sj-the-infamous said...

I've grudgingly concluded that my "other half" may just as well be in another city. I have fought that idea for much too long, so I've embraced it, although, I haven't full embraced the notion of leaving for love because I love my job, love my church, love my family, love so much else here...it's a delicate balancing act that I've not had to engage in yet, but I anticipate that and pray I'm prepared for that time when it comes. Yes, most definitely another commentary....

Muata said...

Reader responses:

White men aren’t scrutinized for being metro sexual as much as black men. I wonder why?
-LS

WHATEVER!
-TB

YES MA BRUTHA!!! Speak on that!!! I sent this to every woman I know!!!
-BS

I read the article and liked it a great deal, in fact, I made a copy and gave it to my co-worker and suggested that she gives it to her 19 year old daughter. I honestly agreed with it and you made some valid points. I have a totally different perspective on the way I look at men now, I am going to
re-evaluate my thoughts while understanding what role I play in my relationships.
-DC

FREEDOM said...

My view of THE METRO-SEXUAL MAN.

The Metro-Sexual man IS equipped with a Spirit of Humility. Even though he may think he is all that and a bag of chips, he has taken a long deep stare in the mirror and has said, "who am I fooling." I don't have to do all these things to please a woman, the only person I need to please is GOD. He says, "God created me as the man to hunt, provide, and stay in constant fellowship with HIM."

The Metro-Sexual Man is not capitative with society and he is not deceived by the opposite sex like Adam was. This MAN is to be celebrated for his masculinity. He has hairs on his chest, legs, arms, and occasionally his back.

The Real Metro-Sexual MAN is not too CUTE to get his a_ _ under a car and change the oil. He is not scared of getting his manicured hands and nails dirty, because he knows he has some oil cleaning antibacterial soap or dish detergent in the house. This man is about saving his money, not spending it to please others.

The Metro-Sexual Man says, "I LOVE my Sports and my Caps and if you don't like it then see yA, don't wanna be yA." I know this man is not vain enough to think that just because it looks like he has his s_ _ _ together on the outside, but inside he is longing for something more. Something that money cannot buy, but only GOD can fill this VOID and he recognize this. And guess what, this Meto-SEXUAL MAN knows how to pray. He prays daily to his Heavenly Father for himself and his lady. He also knows how to pray to his Heavenly Father to get the things he desires. He knows that his HEAVENLY FATHER will supply all of his needs for him for that day only and he will let tomorrow take care of itself. Yet, he has planned for the future, but is LIVING in the present.

The Real Metro-Sexual Man knows that he is truly in GODS purpose for his life. Even though he cannot lead a sex-free life he continues to ask GOD to help him bring this urge under submission. HE is diligently searching for a wife, and he knows that just any woman will not do. He is searching for his missing RIB. He knows that the flesh is weak, but HIS Spirit is WILLING.

Oh yes, the REAL Metro-Sexual MAN knows that GOD has given him a gift to uplift individuals, to give a new way of thinking, a new avenue for growth. This Metro-Sexual Man will not get caught up in fads or trends, because he is well aware that they will fade away and be no more. HE is grounded and anchored in the LORD. He welcomes the winds and the storms of this old life and finds refuge in GOD.

The Metro-Sexual Man I am talking about does not give a darn what people think or say about him, because he is on another level that words cannot DETHRONE him from being the KING God created him to be. This Metro-Sexual Man could careless if you think HE is GAY, because what you think or say about him does not make HIM. GOD made him and he knows that he does not have anything to prove to you or anyone else, but only GOD!

The Real Metro-Sexual Man is proud that he can be ONE with his mate and wish folks would stop talking about it, and be about it! Because he is truly being about it and handling his business!

So please, don't hate on the Metro-Sexual Man because he knows it does not take all of that to be a MAN and he is proud that he is a MAN and not a WOMAN.

The REAL Metro-Sexual MAN will continue to have Sports Center programmed on his remote. He will continue to have ESPN magazines mailed monthly or weekly to his home. He will watch his favorite NBA team struggle to make the play-offs. He will also watch all the College and NFL games on cable and order the channels for all the other games that regular cable does not offer. And if don't like that, he will order pay-per view Boxing and can't wait to see the fight again on Boxing After Dark!

So, go watch DESPERATE HOUSE WIVES on the television in the other room because the BIG SCREEN TV is for SPORTS, SPORTS CENTER, AND VIDEO GAMES !!

Now, will all
THE REAL Metro-Sexual MEN please stand UP !!!

Muata said...

Reader Responses:

No where in the definition of metro sexual do i see " a woman made him do it!!!"

You do these things because you choose to..not because the woman made you. If you did, you are exactly as sj-the-infamous said it best....This is a buncha bullcrap!

-Famnlan

Muata said...

Numerous men try to do what makes their women happy and what will make the relationship more productive. It is called changing for the better: adhere to the woman's desires/wants/preferences.
Famnlan and sj-the-infamous failed to pull that from the commentary. What the both of you did within your response was set another seed of conflict and division between the sexes. Calling it “bull#$%^ is failing to see the depth of the piece.

-Muata

Sister Kia said...

Real women do not desire metrosexuals....