Parental Failure with Our Youth
I am not amazed by the number of people who are signifying,
claiming, assuming, & saying that Creflo's daughter deserved a beat-down.
This is the convenient and abusive mentality of men and women who have no other
options within the Bag of Discipline.
Believe me; strong disciplinary tactics are necessary for
rebellious teenagers. Teens are conflicted by being lost in a world that does
not respect Youthfulness. The teen mind is in rebellion...more importantly
their minds are NOT ready for the shameful classification of adulthood (18yrs
of age) - thus the reason they act out and behave unleashed.
A beating did nothing for me. Nothing but caused a little
physical discomfort. And, to be honest I am overwhelmingly resentful because of
the ‘beatings’ I received.
I continued with teenage behavior. Why? Because that's what
a teen does. Disrespect and dissing of authority is a part of the process.
Choking, slapping, and throwing items with the intent to rectify behavior is
STUPID. It is asinine - and ultimately ineffective.
One would think we (hell-bent on whipping the ass of a
teenager parents) would know this. Whenever ANYONE, including your child, has
the ability to move you to immature and destructive behavior YOU have lost. You
have become an unproductive guardian. You have become what we typically do not
like. Or, perhaps the Beaters enjoy behaving like an out of control teenager.
Think about how ridiculous Mr. Dollar must have looked as he rolled around his
marble floor with his daughter…Think about how FOOLISH we are for believing
that a bible scripture means BEAT YOUR CHILD’s BEHIND…Proverbs 13-24. Then
again, The Believers believe any damn thing that seeps from that ancient rhetorical
device. I wonder how many of The Believers believe this one Lev.15: 19-24?
Considering corporal punishment and ass whippings have been
staple responses within human culture, I ask:
Have the brutality (beatings) worked?
Check the incarceration stats, check the escalation in crime
over the past two decades, and check the increasing percentage of mental
illness and institutionalization...there is more!
This family matter episode is an opportunity to think about a
more effective response. This is an opportunity reassess what we have been
doing as parents.
Instead of siding with or PRAISING Creflo (he should have
beat her ass), why not take a moment to critically think about our failure with
our youth.
But, since Creflo Dollar did the beating it is okay. Passa is
always right…
Muata Nowe
2 comments:
In light of Creflo beating his daughter...this is a good article. While reading it, my thoughts moved to appreciation state. I am so thankful my sons mothers are good parents. Damn good mothers! Judah Mordecai's mom grew-up in the Montessori tradition, and she decided to raise Judah with the same principles. I must say that initially I was a bit apprehensive...turns out my hesitation was based in IGNORANCE. There is more than one way to raise children. However, Montessori as I have gotten older matches my middle age personality...laid back and reserved. The procedures within the concept allows a child to be a child...to explore. It is not a 'I am the boss (parent) and you (child) are the kid so be seen and not heard'. Montessori is a gradual process that moves the child to discovery...self discovery. To see the process in action may look to be chaos - but what I notice every time I am with my niece (she is a student within the tradition) she is bubbly with question and answers. To me she never speaks out of turn. She is aware...aware of her status (a child) - but she is also aware -and she lets us know- that she is an individual. My son, Judah Mordecai, is well balanced. He is a teenager...that is obvious by the way he follows, and leads. I recall when I tried to implement the 'You are the child and I am the boss (parent)...without providing all the details know and understand that I went an entire summer without him spending weekends and a few weeks with me. He shutdown, and I don't blame him. I was out of control when he rebuked my so called authority. I acted like a fool that was desperate for father (boss) confirmation. Thankfully, Judah and I are on the same page. We are a team...we are raising him. We are! It is a team effort. I am the leader but Judah has a voice. The article is a good one. I dare you to read it. I dare you to try the techniques with your preteen and/or teenager. Don't be that parent that THINKS you are The Boss...you are not. You are a step away from creating resentment within your children. The article: http://www.esquire.com/fatherhood-0612/how-to-leave-a-teen-alone
The article: http://www.esquire.com/fatherhood-0612/how-to-leave-a-teen-alone
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