Thursday, August 27, 2009

Control…We have none.

Control is a force that we try to master in various ways. One way is in our ridiculous attempts to unknowingly (subconscious) dominant others. Some do this in an extremely detrimental way while others do it in a more coy way. On the sly - but thought of in a harmless innocent fashion. In such a way that the perpetrators of the undercover control, at times, have no idea that they are locking down their grip on the individual or individuals within reach. For example, men and women do things for each other under the guise of trying to be caring and loving while knowing full well that their motivation comes from the pits of selfishness: Looking for or expecting something else that they cannot completely disclose at the present moment.

The attempt may be operating from the disposition of subconscious because MOST people have no other outlets to control their very own lives. To bring this void to the conscious level only reminds them that they are minute in this universe. Smaller than a grain of sand. They are control impotent on the job, and in many facets that they desire to be ‘important’. Taken seriously. Consequently, this leaves these pathetic souls with not many options to be in control...ever!

Has this been you? It was me at one point as I traveled on this journey. More on the most humiliating - BUT humbling 7 hours of my life later.

So, what many of us do is try to control what is in striking distance: our relationships with others. We do this not realizing that our mates/spouses are in the same boat that we are in: unable to control anything outside the immediate. Gridlock. Tension is imminent. Conflict is abound and later dissolution (break-up) is inevitable. In the end, two people with false senses of control end-up alone. Literally by themselves...all because the power that they want was snatched from them as soon as they made themselves vulnerable to the other.

Vulnerability is what we need to master. Not, control. We are weaken by the impact of vulnerability. However, a chance must be taken to open-up without worries of getting played. Then we must have the respectable fortitude to productively ‘deal’ with any pain that may present itself: Nothing Last Forever.
Ironically, pain is something we all will face - and in most cases we have no real effective way to handle it. As a result, we over time destroy ourselves spiritually and crap on each other relentlessly.

We must find a better approach.

Written by Brian E. Payne. Inspired by Chef! I thank him for taking care of me when I had NO CONTROL WHATSOEVER.


Muata, The Shadow, The Black Rebel said...

Reader Response:

Your piece about control hit spot on, and the feel of humiliation stings, as well as the difficulty with vulnerability.


Muata, The Shadow, The Black Rebel said...

Reader Response:

Great blog, agree 100% with this one. BTW, thank you for taking care of me, with things within your control that you were not even really trying to control.


Muata, The Shadow, The Black Rebel said...

Reader Response:

Beautiful!....recently I’ve found myself OUT OF CONTROL….yet completely aware of what I am doing.

I MUST find a better way. Thanks for reminding me.