Not much from the black blog-a-sphere and FB on the black mother who killed herself, her three children, and attempted murder of her 10 year old. Typical…and before I continue – please don’t get hypersensitive. If this was another white woman, black people would have a lot to say. I base that on similar past events. The past is always a great predictor of what people will do in the present/future. I am also convinced that -you perhaps- thought the mother was white. I did. Without thinking about it…I pictured a mentally distraught white woman…after a white woman told me about it. My white friend thought the black mother was white too. But, then I opened up my email. AOL.com provided a picture of the mentally distraught black female for me and the world. I do try my best to reserve my contempt on matters like this. However, I must admit I am pissed off with the black mother. I am disgusted each and every time any adult decides to KILL their kids. It is excessively selfish and coldhearted. I wish these people would just kill themselves! Why the kids? By the way, I am not sure of the black female’s background – but this is a GREAT opportunity for the black community to address MENTAL HEALTH. We have dismissed it for far too long. If the past is a predictor of the present…black people will not have the mental health discussion. Just got off the phone with my boy and he mentioned mental health while we were discussing Lashanda Armstrong. That’s at least a start!!! I challenge us to have some level of discussion with family this weekend about mental and emotional health. Hell, just stop and ask someone: ‘How are you doing today. Really, how are you doing?’ You will be surprised how that may help someone recognize that living can be WORTHY!
Muata Nowe
3 comments:
I almost made an assumption that this was another white female doing something tragic to herself and children, but thankfully I held my thoughts and was really taken back to see that it was a black female. The color of the person isn’t what matters. It’s the act that does. What could cause any mother to take her life and any child too? My wife and I both just sat and listened to the report given and just looked at each other trying to make some sense of what we had just heard. I had seen an earlier report and had some idea of what was going to be said, but still I wasn’t prepared for all of what was shared. The oldest son will probably need a lot of counseling to try and help him get through this tragic event. I can’t condemn the mother for her actions. I can only ask how could she do it? If there was trouble between her and the children’s father, try to figure out some way of getting some kind of help. It’s easier to sit back and make suggestions after the fact and by not being the one in the circle of what has happened. People today are doing so many deadly things to people and themselves. Allah help her son and the rest of her family. They will all need his help.
-Unknown
reader Response:
This is an absolutely heartbreaking story. What has been most helpful for me in trying to grasp it, as a white woman reading this, is to read how Dr. Watkins and those posting here write about it. From the eloquent compassion and indignation on behalf of overburdened black young mothers from Joia, to the anger of Lorie, and Dr. Watkins describing this woman’s story, I feel fortunate to be able to read glimpses of how a number of black people are processing and coping with this, as individuals and community, and a glimpse into the experiences of black people in this society. To me, it feels like the legacy of slavery, how racist white people are, myself included, and the harm my forebears have done, is all over this and is in many ways a similar, and many ways a profoundly different context from when white women kill their children. Lack of equal opportunity in education, jobs, pay, access to birth control, abortion services, and childcare, housing, and of course healthcare and counseling, let alone a holiday from daily/hourly/minute-by-minute acts of racism. And the sexism, the differences in what women must endure in relationships and how we are raised to believe a man is worth more than our own self-worth. The way women cope with betrayal: so often turning that rage inward. When men kill their children, they usually kill the mother as well. But when women kill their children, they less often kill the father, directing their rage at the kids or themselves, instead of at him. It says a lot about differences in power.
-Unknown
Reader Response:
Amen Brother. We have got to stop worthless fights and think of what's really important and worthy. This is tragic. But, as you are pissed, so am I. Our people have picked up a lot of terrible habits from others. I'm not saying, we don't do this, but I can remember, back in the day, when FAMILY meant everything. What in the hell has happened.
-RS
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